Sua ku - A Journey

what's good and what's bad...

2009-10-05T21:31:00.002+08:00

in a blink of eye, a month have past and many really good and bad things happened in my life once again. wanted to update my blog but was to tied to something. but that something now, i have chose to let it go. i'll just have to see if it will come back to me. if it's mine, it's mine.

sometimes i wished it did not happen, but what has happen have happened... though i'm still sad about it, but life still goes on.

Good things come and go, same goes for the bad things, they come and go as well. the questions that i need to answer now is, "can you accept the changes?"

though my answer is a "NO" but i'm trying hard to make it into a "YES". the journey is painful, i just have to hang in there and carry on... =(

Retreat !!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-10T20:53:00.000+08:00

the first reaction to the word "Retreat" was always to move backwards. that is first human's thinking. it's natural!

likewise, in a company's retreat, it was suppose to be a time of enjoyment, and have closer bonding with one another after a day of hard work.

everything started off with an idea of a chalet that was offered to me... it den bloom into retreat either at JB or chalet. so the outcome of the retreat was JB for a full day of fun and excitements.
so on the day itself, i was there at office early, wating for the rest to come. most of them were late and some hiccups came along the way, so there there wre changes for the plan. we play "The Cashflow game" to kill time while arrangements were made to prepare for vehicle. So when we had the vehicle ready, we headed to JB.

So as we head towards JB, our stomach starts to groan in hunger and we were soon very hungry. we stop at holiday plaza and proceed with our lunch... we went to this cafe that has the settings of hong kong and we ate there. most of us had nearly the same type of food... baked rice but with different toppings. the cheese have really made us captivated with the melting texture and we ate to our hearts fill. we were trying to get this glass of milk tea worth 5 person to drink but we couldnt. this exclusive offer is only open for people celebrating their birthday and it is free! 1 big gigantic jug of milk tea, but the condition is, it must be 3 days before and after the birthdate. so sad...

so after late lunch, the girls went on with their manicure while the guys go window shopping around and foot massage.

So when evening comes, we headed to this building call "JUSCO" if i remember correctly, it is the largest shopping mall in JB. so the plan was to go and sing... after singing we go eat again and head home.

we headed to red box, their version of k box, and we start singing from 7pm and thinking that it will end at 10pm but we were mistaken as the session that we purchased is actually until 1am.
so we have to change our plans. we continue to sing from 10pm to 1am. so after my song i felt something like wrong with them... turn out they ordered a birthday cake for me, and sang me a birthday song. i was very touch with that... it's really been like years since i properly celebrated by birthday. i was even given the honor to pop open a champagin. =)

so after singing out loud, we all split with 2 vehicles, 1 to eat and 1 back to Singapore... So guess what? i followed the eating car... even though we were filled. so 4 of us, ate again... we had sambal kang kong, begger's chicken and shelll fish. it was fabulos!@!

very sad... talk so much but didnt take any picture other than eating for our late lunch...

i'll try to take pictures in remembrance to all these things... =)

Hello strangers !

2009-08-10T12:15:00.001+08:00

i was just wondering... who have been viewing my blog.... hmmm.... will you say something in my tag box ?

anyway, i'm now very into networking... will you be my friend? haha do drop me a text at 93380604. =)

Have a good day ahead!
Happy National Day~!

another new chapter...

2009-08-06T01:31:00.002+08:00

i have officially left my previous job in attributes... it was the mark of another chapter in my life... chapter 4?

chapter 1 is army days...
chapter 2 is with RISS...
chapter 3 is with Attributes...
chapter 4 is with JF Lennon...

its a new start and everything was kinda shaky... i'm trying hard to stablize myself in the midst of this shakiness... the road is long, the valley is deep, the ocean's wide in front of me... BUT GOD saved the day! i believe that with the power of the cross, i am able to hand in there and go through this tough time!

and i have been fooling around some websites.... and i come across this... just sign up for free and wonder what's gonna happen... anyway, it's free! so just sign up for fun! haha
http://www.emailcashpro.com/?r=patrickaaron

do sign up for fun as well! =)

Tired and Sleepy

2009-06-27T14:53:00.002+08:00

I have no idea why i am been so tied with work lately. Do they appreciate my work? They ask for 2 way communication, i did my best to do it but they didnt even bother to reply me when i ask.

is there anything or anywhere that i needs to improve ? i'm so tired working... i have never felt so tired working before... why ? =(

My first time

2009-06-23T05:49:00.002+08:00

Saturday 20th June was the first time that i have donated blood to the blood bank. it was kinda scary for me as i have never donated blood before... but after the donation was over, i felt glad and didnt feel tired or lack of blood in my brain.

Excited... i'm looking at the next blood donation... =)

again i will donate blood!

it is better to give than to receive,
it is better to serve than to be served,
it is better to love than to be loved.

a state of depression

2009-06-13T15:27:00.002+08:00

totally i couldnt find time to do the simplest things like blogging because i don't even have time for that. i am so glued to work due to the high cmmitment level. it's kinda irritates me a lot nowadays due to the high level of commitments. what can i work as now ?

kinda fall into depression lately... don't understand why also... but doctor said that it was lead by stress... what am i stressed at? work? finance? relationship?

seeking for part time jobs now...

Scandalon!

2009-05-17T23:49:00.003+08:00

What Pastor Steve Munsey preached on Scandalon have really drove the message deep and hard into my thick skull! till date, i did not forget a single thing.

scandalon is a pit that was nicely camoufludge in front of you and when you fall in, you're stuck in there. you see the good things pass by you... and you cant enjoy it because you are stuck in the pit!

i fell into the pit and i have been seeing things passing me like nobody business... no hands came to pull me out of the pit, but people who saw me in the pit only suggest me to do this and that and by doing their advices, i might be able to break free. sometimes i just fall deeper into the pit unknowingly.

FINALLY, and really it is like FINALLY!!! a hand came down, wanting to pull me out of scandalon, which is my debt. i was seriously afraid to grab it inititally because i won't know when the hand pulls me up, that hand can push me down deeper because i am depending fully on the hand i am holding on.

when i was in the train back home from the appointment with my friend, i had a serious thought. this could be my turning point, what if i loose this chance? when will it come again? many questions rain on me. seriously i don't know if it is the prompting of the Holy Spirit of it's just myself talking to myself... questions after questions came, flooding my mind...

sometimes i have no idea on what i should do as well... but i am looking at how things will go about... i really really really am dying for a breakthrough in the area of my finances...

Dear God, here i plan my path... help me to get out of scandalon, so i can be the salt and light you have called us to be and be able to be a blessing to others. Help us oh God! In Jesus name i pray, Amen!

A series of happening

2009-05-08T21:49:00.002+08:00

From my last entry till today, i have done many things. so many that i have forgotten most of them... just too busy and tired to recall them... but it seems like living day by day, which is not really very good.. trying hard to find a goal in my career now... the more i find, the more i'm lost!

i'm like buried with work everyday... i don't know how long more can i last... i hope that the capacity of mine will be stretched.

now with virus infection now (not swine flu), my throat was infected, and my nose run faster then me.

life suddenly took a sharp turn, it wasn't easy... why ??

=(

THE MESSAGE BIBLE

2009-04-19T00:56:00.002+08:00

I finally got the bible that i have been eyeing for. Though i have not started reading it today, but i'm believing for FRESH REVELATION FROM HEAVEN.

My first own purchased Message Bible, i'm counting on you for my coming offering messages and sermons that is ahead of me.

Thank you JESUS for the FRESH REVELATION !!!

i love YOU !

Everything needs time...

2009-04-18T00:57:00.002+08:00

When a chef cooks his steak, he will always have to watch the fire and texture of the meat.

Fire too big -> cook time lesser
Fire too small -> cook time longer
Meat too thick -> cook time longer
Meat too thin -> cook time lesser

Working at my new workplace really tested my skills in the area of management. I now realise that I have failed to manage my things well enough and often find myself doing wrong things one after another. I have focus on the wrong things time and again. Many a times I'm feeling kinda sick of myself doing the wrong thing most the time.

I really thank God that even though I have been doing wrong things time and over again, my co-workers are still kind enough to teach me patiently to suggest and guide me a better way to complete a task.

I can't wait to have another breakthrough in the area of my work. I have been spending too much time... How can I breakthrough to the next level of multi tasking?

In office, where does it stands in the profiling?
D, I, S or C ???
In my own profiling, i'm in the centre. Sometimes i'm so stuck.
when i turn left, I sometimes turn too much to the left and forgot about the right.
when i turn right, I sometimes turn too much to the right and forgot about the left.

Conclusion -> I HAVE TO look at my left and right not too much and not too little. I need to talk more.

I HAVE TO START TALKING TO GET THINGS DONE!!!!

Dear God, this is Your to-do list that I believe You can do to me:
1) Good memory capacity
2) Mutli task breakthrough to another level
3) Able to complete more things within a short period of time
4) Able to manage time, transport expenses, stocks movement records well
5) Another breakthrough of communications with co-workers

God, please help me. I entrust my hope on You.

the down of the down, now going up...

2009-04-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

after the magazine promoter, everything was finally over... as i started my career with Attributes, things was rough for me... i was being enlarged, so much so that the enlargement process shag me out... there was a period of time where i had not enough rest, 1st to reach and last or 2nd last to leave... that was when i have poor priority management...

there were so many type of management for me to learn... even though i had experience from army, but the job scope was totally different even though it is still under the "LOGISTIC FAMILY"

i was piled with work load, load that i have never seen before, so heavy for me to carry alone... slowly as i focus one by one, completing them instead of 100%, i complete them at 80%. because i cannot afford to focus 100% on 1 thing and leave the rest undone. when i complete like 80% of many things, the overall completion rate was higher then the 100% that i have been focusing on. though i know this theory, i couldnt put them into use because i was a perfectionist! i want to complete 100% before i go into the next thing but i realise that i can't, not because i couldn't...

life was really packed up, mainly with work. working in the house of God was really great because i am exposed to more stress. you guys might think i'm crazy to say this but, the more stress that is on you, the more you will be expanded in terms of details and managements.

pastor also said before that no problem is greater then the God we serve... instead, turn to the problem and tell the problem that the God i serve and worship is bigger than them...

i was watching this video for the first time. it was mind blowing!!! all should watch... no kidding you! it tells you how small you are and how big God is... amazing video...
http://www.268generation.com/videoplayer/player.php?videoid=Indescrwide1&quality=hi

we are small, yet God chose to dwell in us. hmmm... how does God's full presence feels like? i'm hungry for it... i am building my foundation again! back to first love...

GOD!! I LOVE YOU !!!

climbing up

2009-03-03T23:52:00.002+08:00

after all the downs, there is always an up. i was shortly called up for round 2 of interview and i was asked to start work like wednesday, 25th, and i was able to relate all the things i did in army into good use here in attributes... =) God has prepared me for this day... Wooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

after long intensive training in army, doing the things i am doing now, i am very very confident that i am able to withstand the stress level and multi tasking that i am tasked to do. just sad that there is no bed for me, so i have to go home everyday after i am done with work. but i hate to leave today's work for tomorrow... it is snowballing... bad for health also...

anyway, i have noticed that many young man cannot do admin job properly... i dunno why also but i am thankful to God that i am able to do admin job perfectly with very very very very minimum errors in it.

everything is starting to be clear to me what am i suppose to do. things are going so well now... =) i'm so glad that things are going well now... =)

all these happened after i have given to the storehouse of God. signs of me to give my tithes... it was spoken after CGM and service 4 by pastor Tan.

Malachi
3:8
"Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me! But you say, 'In what way have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings.
3:9
You are cursed with a curse, For you have robbed Me, Even this whole nation.
3:10
Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this," Says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.
3:11
"And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, So that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, Nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field," Says the Lord of hosts;
3:12
"And all nations will call you blessed, For you will be a delightful land," Says the Lord of hosts.
3:13
"Your words have been harsh against Me," Says the Lord, "Yet you say, 'What have we spoken against You?'
3:14
You have said, 'It is useless to serve God; What profit is it that we have kept His ordinance, And that we have walked as mourners Before the Lord of hosts?
3:15
So now we call the proud blessed, For those who do wickedness are raised up; They even tempt God and go free.' "
3:16
Then those who feared the Lord spoke to one another, And the Lord listened and heard them; So a book of remembrance was written before Him For those who fear the Lord And who meditate on His name.
3:17
"They shall be Mine," says the Lord of hosts, "On the day that I make them My jewels. And I will spare them As a man spares his own son who serves him."
3:18
Then you shall again discern Between the righteous and the wicked, Between one who serves God And one who does not serve Him.

This verse happen on the same week. to me, it is not something man synchronised, but everything was done by the grace of God. before that, it was everything upside down...

Bottomline... Trust God that when you bring it into the storehouse, more will come from the windows of heaven! =)

Days after CNY

2009-02-18T19:15:00.002+08:00

Life indeed have a curve, curve of ups and downs. just when my life is picking up, my finances are going at the same time, lower and faster then i can ever thought of... My manager is delaying my pay... Goodness! i have no simple idea why is he doing so.

Letters after letters, reminders after reminders from those companies. I was unable to make payments due to such matters. My mind was really pushed to the edge, As i pray hard, persistant praying, somehow there are food coming my way and i didn't pay a cent. Sometimes when there is no sales, i wil just make a simple prayer by asking God to give me 1 sales and indeed it really came.

God has been faithful and has been answering to prayers that i requested. During the morning prayer meeting from 9th to 13th Feb, i attended all of the prayer meetings. Throughout all the prayer meetings, i wil be asking for the same thing over and over, again and again. seeking persistantly and some have already taken place.

Today i also had an interview at attributes, had an initial round of interview with Gilian and Valerie. I have no idea on what the outcome will be like but i hope that the outcome will be positive and will engage me to work. I hope that they will call me up for round 2 of interview. =)

Thank you Lord for everything You have done in my life. I now ask for revival to take place!

House warming

2009-02-05T00:46:00.000+08:00

Sat was wen jie and siew lee's new house warming and also another get together with jia hui, desmond and wife at their places. though they didnt have much, so they ask if it is ok for us to cook a little thing over and we'll dine together. we were all alright with the idea. i was the first to reach, so i got myself to start preparing the spaggatti for the second time. but this time with a little pressure, their stomach depends on my noodles.

this time round, the spaggatti was less oily but the texture is still hard. i can't figure out why. it's so sad for me. i need to find a reason to decode it, so that i can cook better the next time round. this time round, i cook the noodles with salt instead of plain boiling water. also i cooked a dish of vegetables. everything was meat less mine... flour and vegetables... we had prawns, sotong balls, fish balls, chicken, mutton, pork meat with satay sauce and fried chicken wings. we were very filled at the end of the eating session. everything was finished up, leaving the chilli sauce and my pamasen cheese and a little of the oily spaggatti. we still have cheese cake as desert.

follow by that, we played blackjack, dai dee and texas poker. of course, money was involved though as small as 10 cents games. i did win some during the blackjack and daidee but lost all my winnings and some money in the game of texas. desmond was the sole winner, winning back like $10 from us.

follow on, after we left siew lee's place, i followed jiahui to his relatives place. i wasnt really expecting to go up because i don't know them at all. but my best buddy's mummy wanted me to come up, so i just have to say ok. going up with the laptop in my hand, i was thinking what should i be expecting. when i reach the door, i was greeted by my buddy's sister and she brought me in. i greeted everyone in the house "uncle, aunties, xin nian quai le." with a smile in my face. guess what? everyone ignores me. did they hear me or they were just busy playing their mahjong session? hmmm....

after that we headed home. another long day... =)

Chinese new year

2009-02-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

as i started using my A4 size organiser, i start to realise that my activities have been piling up like crazy business... at the same time, money is leaking out from the part, part time work that i'm into.

where has all my hard earn money gone to? =( did i spend it most by taking buses and train? why did i bury myself into so many activities? was it to stretch myself or keep myself busy? sometimes when i think about it, i can't answer myself to all these questions. it is so strange, why all these and not those? what are the other ways that i can manage my times since i have habits of idling at home when i'm resting? am i physically tired? why am i not doing all these things? seriously, no answer for my actions.

during chinese new year, it was my first attempt to cook for my whole entire family. i was cooking spaggatti and 1 additional more that i can't remember what is the name for it, for my whole family. Being excited, here's what i did for cooking my spaggatti:

cooking the spaggatti noodles in boiling water.
chopping garlic cloves into bits and soak with cooking oil.
put in cooked spaggatti and fry.
add pinches of salt, pepper and butters.
fry again abd before serving, add another scoop of butter.

it came out a little too oily on the surface and very hard inside. i don't know why it turn out ot be like that. kinda sad that i didn't get what i wanted. but it's ok... i will be able to do it better next time, because i missed out a few steps. hahaha

there wasnt much excitements in this chinese new year. somehow dunno why it is like so boring. and this is just day 1.

day 2, i went over to my "wai puo", which means my mother's mother place to bai nian. for so long i have not seen by "biao di", they have all grown up and i seriously could not recognise them well. and worst still, i thought that they were someone else. also to my shock, they started smoking. i was very shock to see it. so i talk to one of my biao di and asked him why smoke? he couldn't really answer me well. somehow or rather, i feel that it is the influence of their dad, or by their eldest brother, who is also a smoker.

i even asked if their mum is agreeable with the idea that they were smoking, expected answers came out from his lips. he told me that his mum don't wish to see them smoke. i, as an ex smoker, knew how parents feel because it really will break the hearts of the parents. smoking is not really so cool afterall. it's so money wasting. i regretted smoking so heavily last time but thank God that i manage to quit in time. though temptations still still comes along the way, i always ask myself what are the side effects for that. it would be stomach upset, stoned for hours, cold sweat, blur and tired. these are the horrible feels that an ex-smokers gets after quitting smoking for so long and picks it up again.

thereafter, i had dinner at my wai puo's place. there wasn't a lot of varietys but there were a lot of meat. prawns, chicken, ducks and pork. all tasty and oily. i didn't ate much because i was heading over to Ruth's place to eat too. i was there way late, i reach about 9plus and there were really still lots of food left. so i did my best, trying to finish as much as i could. i didn't know that her dad was a cook. he was a zhu chao chef! the food was really great. but it's such a waste that i couldn't finish much.

after this, i head home... what a long day i had...

where was i

2009-01-26T01:43:00.002+08:00

good and bad things happened in my life for the past week, and i have also thought of my own resolution again because i think that it is too short....

the bad things:
1) my computer power supply box suddenly exploded on thursday and now i couldn't even power on my computer.
2) i forgot to return the stand chart champion chip, i threw it, and now they ask me to return... and i forgot to pay them. payment date due on 23rd Jan.
3) i also overlook on my prudential policy... now it's close to only $200, thank God that i dropped. or not i'm really shit.
4) i have also got my Aviva to make payments, about S114.
5) while clearing my house for chinese new year, i notice that a lot of things a faulty and requires immediate rectification.

the good things
1) While my computer broke down, i have more time reading my bible and really spending time with God. Catching up with the bible reading chart.
2) while clearing my house, i found a lot of exercise books that is used halfway, and i will be finding a way to give them out to bless those who will need them.
3) i signed up this discipleship class that will be taking place every sunday after Jurong service. it will last for 16 lessons and after that i will graduate from the class. i will be drilled and moulded to be a stronger person in character.
4) i was feeling very down due to financial difficulties, but i was comforted with the book of Pslams 54:6 "With a freewill offering i will sacrifice to You; i will give thanks to Your name, O Lord, for it is good." and i was encouraged!

Dilemma
1) i heard news that pearl centre is selling second hand laptop at 300 odd. but i'm not sure to buy or not.
2) what to choose for my next career.

My 2009 Resolution (updated):

Spiritual aspect
> in par with the bible reading chart monthly.
> increase in personal prayer time from average 5 min to 30 min in 2 months time.
> 1 full fast every week. if miss a week, next week to make up.

Connect group aspect
> multiply to 3 group.
> closer bonding and friendship by longer quality fellowship.
> see 2 of my friends receive Christ.
> groom 2 leaders up under my care.

Ministry aspect
> never be late for ministry.
> attend all training provided.
> giving my best during serving.

Character aspect
> being more patient with things around me.
> more understanding and sensitive to the people around me.
> able to motivate and move people by words that i speak.
> keeping time management at tip top condition.
> never late for any appointments unless unforseen things happen along the way.
> have a better ear and able to give effective counselling.
> able to learn and master the impartation skill.

Career aspect
> able to pick up the skill fast.
> get brown medallion (life saving).
> get my class 3 this year.

Achievement aspect
> silver for IPPT during reservist. (if any)
> join at least 2 5km to 10km marathon that is free.
> completed 5 Christian books.
> have a new gaming computer.
> an oversea trip with friends.

Financial aspect
> have a saving of $5k before 2009 end.
> harvy norman credit card cleared.
> no owing of telecom any outstanding amount by june.

Health aspect
> weight lost to 70kg.
> 1 X 5km run every month

Relationship / friendship area
> have a date.
> closer relationship with family members.
> keep monthly contact with friends from my phone list / facebook / friendster / MSN / blog.

That's all for now... I hope it will all come to pass=)

A request from a friend

2009-01-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

it has been quite a while since my ITE friend gave me a rang on my mobile. when i saw his name, Ron, calling, i thought there must be a gathering that is going on but i was wrong. he told me that he is helping out in his friend via distributing magazines door to door. "hmmm... ok... distribute to which estate?" was my first question. i have no idea why did i ask that question too... anyway, i helped him out in the distribution, from door to door. the ball started rolling on thursday itself.

friday i took a day off from my part time promoter just to help him. we goes from block to block, dropping those magazines at the door steps. we started as early as 10.30am all the way till night. that was day 1. legs starting to get a little tired. we ended work like 12.30am? i have never walk so much even when i was in army!

day 1, it was only me and ron and at evening time, jason(Ron's worker's son), tong sheng, astor and wife came. on day 2, saturday, came tong sheng and astor, jason. 5 of us work all day and night... it was like a never ending job. and i got to find out that we are to issue 20,000 copies of these free magazines to everywhere. through the hardworks, we all manage to issue 12,000 copies of this free magazine. it was real hardwork, and i really meant hardwork. walking up and down wasnt that funny afterall. it was energy draining...

But in the midst of all these hardwork, we had fun... and they brought me to hougang block 309 coffee shop to eat one of the best roast duck meat. it was really wonderful!

it feels a little like china's roast goose meat. just that wonderful!!! yum yum!!!

My first official part time job

2009-01-12T21:31:00.007+08:00

after i have finally ORDed, i have also started to find jobs... and it was real tough to find a job. i don't understand why... this is so sickening... and so i soon got more and more desperate and i bought papers and stared looking for temporary jobs. i spotted this promoter job, promoting magazine, so i give it a try... it was great! i soon find myself starting to love this job. talking to people, seeing so many kinda people... talking is so fun!

despite all the fun, the manager, Daryl and his part time promoters, were all good to me. they thought me lots of sales technique. now it is time to let these skills manifest and show some results... tomorrow is a better day with more sales and more experience for me always. i pray that i'll get to learn things everyday during my work.

below are the magazines that i am promoting;

The Economist
Forbes
Business Traveller
Newsweek
Ya Zhou Zhou Kan
National Geographic
Reader's Digest
Discovery Channel Magazine
Discover
Business Week
The Edge Singapore
The Asian wall street journal

drop me a SMS or a message to find out the promotion and pricing before the offers ends...

2009

2009-01-04T00:50:00.002+08:00

for a while i have been thinking of what should my this year's resolutions be? and finally it came to surface up my mind... and it will be pinned up at the side of my blog...

I have the whole year to fulfill it! and i will do to the best of it!!

Not in merit, my Wishlist / Resolution for 2009:
1) Complete reading the Holy Bible
2) Complete reading 5 Christian books
3) Connect group multiply from 1 group to 3 group
4) Early or on time for every reporting of duty in ministry
5) Clear my Harvy Norman Debts
6) 1 overseas trip within Asia with friends
7) Saving of S$5K
8) Weight drop to 70kgs
9) A new desktop for gaming
10) Revamp my room and house with new furniture
11) Improve on my fashion sense
12) Hopefully a female date

that's all for now...

2009,

I don't get ready for you,

you get ready for ME...

2008 last days

2009-01-04T00:44:00.002+08:00

just a few more minutes and 2008 will end like that. time files.... this year celebration was a funny one. i went to woodlands, near the causeway to watch Malaysia's fireworks. Singapore's fireworks were all very short but beautiful, whereas Malaysia has various location putting together and though not synchronized together, they turn out to be beautifully brightening the skys!

long fireworks but not so nice VS short fireworks but very nice

which is your choice? you watch the short but very nice because you paid your tax in it?? haha...

2009, the best year yet to be!

CHINA experience

2009-01-03T23:32:00.005+08:00

its been a while since i'm back from China and have not updated how the trip was. overall it was really an eye opener for me. Getting to see things i have never see in Singapore before and now i feel that Singapore is like not so high class after all in terms of technology.

I roam in China from Macau -> Zhu Hai -> Shan Tou -> Shen Zhen -> Zhu Hai -> Macau -> Singapore.

Though the stay in China was like 8 days, it was really an enjoyable trip. the best over at China was the roast goose meat and dim sum. the goose meat was not only cheap, but also tasty, delicious and full of fragrance but yet, its oily. when you're oversea, who cares about eating healthy? it was a "I WANT MORE OF IT" after you finish the piece in your mouth. it was that tasty.

the dim sum, so far compare to Singapore, lose until no horse run, (Bo bei zhao). there are dim sum wrap in seaweed?? (the green color paper vegetable??) and it was really nice! and talk about nice, their feelings were great too! big fat prawns were filled to the brim of the siew mai. dumplings were so freshly made and you just can't stop appreciating the freshness and tastyness of it.

Every country ought to have their very own local productions. so guess what's for china? local production = fake goods, and they're so good in it. and i as a foreigner, of course bought some of their local production back to Singapore. 2 Tag Heuer watch, 1 Omega watch, ( i'm wearing it), 1 gucci wallet, 1 Balley wallet, 1 Kappa slim sling pouch, 1 zippo lighter, 2 wind proof lighter, 2 LED torch light and 1 pair of hand craft keychain. See? and they're quite costly too even after hard bargaining with the people there.

the massage centres were great as well. and they are all pure doctors doing all these massaging for you. you don't have to tell them how terrible you were. you just tell them where does it hurts , and their finger will tell them how bad it was, and the doctors will ask you some questions. surprisingly, all the questions they ask, the answers all turn out to be yes.and guess what did the doctor that rub my back said?

"You're a sportsman huh? Your muscles are all so tough and tensed! You're overworking your muscles at your back!"

that's what the doctor said about my back, and my thighs. and all are correct. haha! and earning my money was not easy for him. i kinda pity him. RMB 25 for 1 hr back rub. if every china people back is like mine, so tough, i think he'll need a good full body rub soon or later.

We talk about food, product and massage. lastly i'll talk about tourist attractions. their tourist attractions were mainly their mountains and nothing much but at macau, i took the landmark of macau, the church of st paul. in chinese, (DA SAN PA). in direct translation to english, (BIG BITCH/GOSSIPER?)

sometimes when you read china's english, be prepared to get a shock of your life because here are some of the examples:

pay special notice the last 3rd word.

it reads: "CAREFUL WRESTLING" huh???
this is taken in a hotel.

so sometimes we didn't mean to laugh at them but their actions were really indeed funny as we know that they are trying the best to inform user.

Overall, China, Fun! i'm going back again!!! just dunno when! =( because i miss the weather. i'm going to go in cold weather!!!! hahaha!!! hope the next time i went, the temp will range from 14 to 19 deg celcius!! wootTTT!!!

C.H.I.N.A.

2008-12-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

CHINA = Chinese Held In North Asia ????

"you know ah, the china people all very cunning one leh, be very careful hor?"
"china people are so dirty!"
"these china kia just like to talk so loud even when they are so close to one another."

these are the common few things that we will be complaining about china people, sometimes i do complain about them too but what to do? they sometimes really behave like what singaporeans complain about them...

and i'll be away from 19th Dec and 27th Dec to china to see relatives and also to relax myself. =)

i'm missing Christmas this year!!! But thank Got i am back for the last 2008 Dec service.

Ivan is sending me off tomorrow and he's coming at 0930hrs to pick me up. i cant wait for tomorrow... finally a very own vacation! and a break from my SAF... woooOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shall come back with more updates !!!

to my brothers and sisters in Christ, please help to manage the cell group well. i'm letting go of my "title" because i am going to groom you guys up! i'm not gonna spoon feed you guys anymore... so get ready to face the challenges ahead! =)

Advance Merry Christmas to all my beloved readers and friends.

Love you guys!! 2009 will be a better one than 2008!!!

Experience VS Passion

2008-12-12T13:46:00.003+08:00

What is it like to work outside? What are bosses actually looking for? certificate OR experience OR passion OR what?

i've quitted working in indulgz bistro after getting familiarized with the working hour... the working hour is so unfriendly to me. i got no time for church, family and friends! and that have not include my BGR yet! so i have decided to give F&B a miss as my second career. i'm like more used to office hours job... definately i can't take night job because it totally defeat the purpose because i still cant meet my friends, spend time with church friends and family! i'm giving all these good things a miss. Bottomline:

NO family = NO career!

what's the point when i have the best but no one to share with? i will rather be working with low appointment, at least i can share my joy with my family and friends! =)

You can never finish earning the world's money.

life is something like this:

you are at a valley and you needs to get across to the other side, the only way is to cross through using the broken down bridge that is before you. how will you cross the bridge? if you trip, you'll fall! and when you fall, it will take a lot of time and effort to pick yourself up again to go into another step, or even worse, stablise yourself and gain back your balance. would you:

just walk blindly?
look and go?
look, feel if it is strong to hold you, then go?

i have chose the 3rd option.
look for a job
get some experience how it is like
good or bad?
good = continue, no good = give that a miss.

so my next step will be working in a
1) bookstore, since i like reading and i am good in my logistic skill and housekeeping, or
2) sembawang music store retail assistance.

and i will be persueing a diploma in logistics. and i don't know what's next in line...

God, i know and i know, that you are working something in my life. Please unfold the blessings that you have for me, show me signs and wonders that how long it will take to unfold the blessings. as i build Your house, i know You, God, will build my life well too, and i alo know that, it will either be 30 times, 60 times or even 100 times better then what i have built yours, and you will bless me for whatever i do, that is righteous to you. =)

when things don't go your way...

2008-12-02T23:03:00.002+08:00

things should be going well for me but instead, it was the other way round. it seems like i am on the wrong side of the road, facing the on-coming traffic... nothing went well! don't understand why is this happening too...am i facing stress??

Family, Church, Finances, Career, Time management, Health and Discipline. it has all turned bad. nothing good is coming out of me. I get tired easily, i lost my patience, i messed up my time, i lost my discipline, i felt that i am in a poverty situation now.

i don't know what is going through me, but sure i am restless in me.

i somehow realized that i cant keep up the pace of the kitchen and i also come to a conclusion that, interest really cannot be taken as a rice bowl. people have been saying it to me but i have put it on a deaf ear and i still say i can do it. time has proven, i can't.

i don't know what is happening... but i pray that the U turn point is near... i'm going through something that i have never experience before...

maybe because the worry of money... =(

Asia Conference

2008-11-24T02:25:00.002+08:00

From 19th to 23th November, City Harvest Church conducted a conference that is touching Asia and transforming the world. There were 10 solid sessions with many powerful and effective electives that is there for us to choose and learn from.

If i have a choice, i will attend all the electives but everyone can only sign up to a maximum of 6 electives. out of the 6 electives, 1 was canceled because during the lunch session with Christin Pringle, the session was about miscarriage. Though i couldn't hear the message clearly due to the echoing of the speakers, i somehow manage to capture what she was trying to tell us. its about woman that had miscarriage before and that's all i know.

it took up a little longer than usual, and some woman were weeping for some reasons that i cannot hear why they stood up. so pastor kong decided to cancelled the 5th elective and commence the 6th elective at 3pm instead of 3.45pm.

so out of the 5 elective i have attended, i'm gonna put them into good use of it and letting all of them manifest to it's 100% in my life. the electives i went to are:
+ Helping someone break an addiction (Director CityCare, Victor Lim Fei)
+ Cell Group Leadership (Pastor Derek Dunn)
+ Dynamics of a contemporary worship band (Pastor Sidney Mohede)
+ Men's Ministry (Greg French, Realman founder)
http://www.ccc.org.au/default.asp?page=CGrealmen
+ Building a healthy self image (Pastor Tan Ye Peng)

i was tremendously blessed emotionally, the Holy fire burns bigger and brighter for now and i am going to get the fire burning non-stop and burn bigger.

Asia conference is surely indeed a very life changing experience for me and i just can't stop saying that i was so blessed by the message because i was empowered to perform more things for Jesus Christ! i'm so excited!!!

Asia Conference 2010, i'm waiting for you...

Blessings from me to you and to everyone

2008-11-13T00:39:00.003+08:00

On 7th NOV 2008, my logistic officer told me that i will be getting an award, so in my mind was thinking this "you sure not, or you just suan siao me and wanna award me with how many days of off?" but i was very wrong. he told me that i will be receiving the "BEST SUGGESTER AWARD for WY 08/09" and i was so shock to hear it. in my mind i was thinking "what have i done to deserve such awards???" initially i though that i only got plague only, and i was happy about it because i can add it into my resume. hehe

so the ceremony was about safety and pride day. and i wasn't aware of it at all... i just blindly go and collect my price...

i made my way to the MPH as i have to be there by 1300hrs and i sat there and waited... and it happen that my 12th mono HQ CSM was there and he disturb me because he was shock to see my name there. i was surprised to hear that i will also be receiving a $75 worth of food vouchers. and in that state of time, i thank God for this blessing. at least i hungry got voucher to use and get filled. hahaha

than my turn to go up to the stage and collect the price... it was my first time collecting such prices... and i wish to have that photo... and i really wants it badly because it is the only time i got something from army... anyway, when i open up the vouchers, it was $75 KFC vouchers meal! i was shock to see that! and there were so many $5 vouchers inside!!! in my mind i was thinking how should i use this vouchers... i even think of giving these vouchers to the orphans in the orphanage but it was just a thought. i kept it, but i used it wisely...

on Monday, Benjamin Chan met me because he requested me to accompany him to sell his guitar away for building funds, so i followed him and he was very sad because he bought his guitar for $200 odds and is fetching a price of $70. thank God that he didn't sell it to the shop because it will be wasted. so he being so sad, i treated him the KFC meal... he rejected time and again because he kept telling me that "KFC is only for people with depressions!" so i insisted him to eat KFC and will even treat him, and it took him a long time to say "OK" to dine at KFC with me.

Shortly after that i told him why i insisted to treat him eat KFC, so i took out the vouchers and showed it to him. he flipped! and he never saw so many vouchers in his life, and he nearly fall off his chair when he heard how much i got. he even took photographs about it and was so happy. so we said grace and dine together happily at KFC.

that same night, i tried to help him sell off his guitar in my "who lives near you" account. and i was shock to hear that he manage to sold off his guitar! it was like less than 6 hours and he manage to sell it off, and to a price that he wish for!

deep in my heart i know that "God is doing something great in our life as we sacrifice for Him and surely He will not short change us!" i don't know how many readers out there will believe this real thing that happened. things do not happen by chance or by coincidence, but it was all nicely arranged by God to test us and mold us. He allow us to go through trails because we will become stronger in mind. =)

and now he seems so eager to dine KFC with me... hahaha

look him up in my friends list as he shows the whole world my stunt and retard face... and with all the $75 vouchers @ Benjamin Chan!

14 days later

2008-11-03T21:32:00.002+08:00

so fast and 14 days have passed. i sometimes wonder if it is because i am going to ORD and so time fly super fast. or not was it the things i did that doesn't allow me to take a rest?

this 14 days i have done so many things! i started a part time job at bugis as a trainee chef. woot! i get to learn how to prepare dishes. hope this coming fri and sat will not be so jam pack as i still got so many things not learned yet. hee... i'm working in a restaurant in bugis, SMS me if you wanna know where i am at.

good things happening to me non-stop, things like:
my USMS ideas are awarded, though amount very small, still i got money from army!
data entry job confirm more jobs for me way before their event ended.
part time chef got more working opportunity

with a Almighty God I serve and worship, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!

I'm glad that i found this God that i worship because He open doors for me. though small, yet i'm grateful with the little things he has done to me and for me.

many more doors i believe it will open and be opened for me... (i sounded a little like Ali ba ba)

suddenly i have an urge for a merge... i didn't know why is this happening... don't ask me why but it just came... and i'm looking for a date still... hahaha

red wine, appreciation in progress... =) woot!

and my computer break down! and i am so bored at home. waiting TV and can't do anything productive. sad... how i wish i can find the right tools to repair my computer ASAP.

1 week of hard work and, goodness...

2008-10-20T19:32:00.003+08:00

I have been working hard like mad dog... working non stop, at work and home. every time when i hit my room, i hit the computer. it was like a need to it, like i need to use the computer and it became a habit. i think God was real angry with me, why? because i didn't spend much time with Him or rather anytime with Him AT ALL!!! i kept saying "Oh God, i'm tired, i promise i will pray tomorrow" but to my horror, the tomorrow never came. until Sunday after service, i head home. as usual, i switch on my computer but i couldn't use my computer because an important was missing!

i was like "God why this happen at this time? i have not backup my stuff!!!" than i was prompted that i broke all the promises that i made, you need to spend time reading the Word and praying and doing the things that you have visualised! down in my heart, i was sinful. i repented on the spot. to me, i felt that the Lord tested my determination. my choice was to fix my computer myself? or seek Him first? definately i seek Him first.

Finally today, i read his Word, prayed for my brother, Derek, as he sits for his 'O' level exam today at 1430hrs today. later on in the late evening, i finally pick up my running gears and change to it and went for a 4.8km run by myself. i wasnt really me to do such things but because i signed up the StandChart Run in dec, i got to train real hard! 42.159km!!!

i drafted out a to do list, now it was stuck in my computer because it crashed. now i got to force myself to remember what is my to do list, so that it will be drilled down into my head and be remembered off hand. i also have a list of things to read... books that i have bought have yet to be touched.

Patrick Aaron Seng!!! you have been PROCRASTINATING over a long time!!! Give up procrastinating and get a life, FREAK!!!

MAKE THINGS HAPPEN! That's what the specialist core have taught you! Disgrace to the core! Why do you have problem overcoming it? Because you are just darn lazy!

You need to kick this HABIT of yours to be a stronger and better person. Kick the procrastinating habit before you got kick in your butt.

8 days of activity...

2008-10-11T21:57:00.002+08:00

Waoh! these 8 days of activities were sure fun, but at times boring. =(

Day 1,
Friday, the day of extraction of my tooth.

Day 2,
Saturday cell group meeting. the Word was good! didn't sang out with all my heart. kinda sad to say that. didn't do anything much on sat. =)

Day 3,
Sunday service at Jurong West. I sang my heart out to the Lord despite the little stiffness i had at my jaw area. as i sing out with my heart, i actually feel my gums vibrating. oooo... and when during worship, i spoke to the Lord that it will be good that i can open up my mouth to sing praises to you and healing will take place as i sing praises to you and worship you. miraculously, my the grace of God, i was receiving the healing power straight from Heaven! Waoh and amazingly! Sad to say, i got a minor cut in my tongue, so i can't take spicy food because the sweetest chili is killing me. it was like rubbing salt on wound.

Day 4 to 8,
Monday i went back to camp to endorse my medical cert. slept till like 10 before i dilly dally and wash up and head back to camp. mouth was still a little hurtful, can feel the "lobang" in it. I waited till dinner time because i don't wanna spend a cent eating out. hahaha. So Tuesday i was at home all the way till Friday, never go out for very long, except for a few nights where i went over to listen to some interesting presentation, and got myself some complimentary gift. hmmm... blessings after blessings! wonderful! Praise the Lord!

I have been leeching out sermons from festival of praise day 1 sermon. through the audio, i have been hearing and hearing and extracting the word and painting up the whole sermon word by word because personally i think that hearing is not enough, we need to constantly see it so that it will be driven down into our hearts. i finally complete it on Friday, was so excited about it. 95% of what Pastor Mark Conner was in the notes. through the extracting out of the words, i somehow have remembered the 4 points deeply into my heart. i pray that these 4 points will always be with me wherever i go and to teach those who needs them as well. =)

On and off, i have been looking for part time job, and i was thinking about my full marathon as well. have not trained since the day i said i wanted to train. so I'm thinking of getting a part time flyer distributor, running around in blocks, putting them door to door or from letterbox to letterbox, as to train my stamina from climbing non-stop, need to sweat a lot out just to keep fit! =) sometimes i think I'm overdoing it but i have been procrastinating for too long. =(

MC has ended just like that. so the sad...

So as my week goes on, Sat attended cell group meeting again. message was really great! God is indeed my provider! He really provides me with all my needs when i pass the test that He tests on me. Praise the Lord! Even though God did not provide my needs, i am still going to believe Him. As Christians, we must have the faith of what the Hebrew’s children have!

It is stated somewhere from the Bible, but i don't know where; that they were facing the fiery furnace and they said this;

“God is ABLE to deliver us from the fire, He WILL deliver us from the fire, but even if not, we’re still going to trust Him.”

That’s what i call great faith!

So after cell group, had Bible study with Joseph and Pei fen was teaching the word of God to us about the spiritual gift. after that, was suppose to meet Jason Chong, Alan, Diana and Valerie to celebrate Ben's 18Th birthday but was cancelled because he gotta stay home. =( so i went dinner with Joseph and have a little chat as we had our dinner, following that, i headed home.

Sunday service. God i can't wait! i feel something impactful for me. i don't know what was it, but I'm waiting with a heart of expecting the unexpected. =)

8 day unofficial off... because of wisdom tooth...

2008-10-03T21:56:00.003+08:00

so does that means to say that people who extract wisdom tooth during NS days is to get off? or because extraction is free? hmmmm....

24th Sept, i had my blood test done at national health board (NHB). guess what? i didn't bring my form. and so i got to make my way to national dental center (NDC) to get a new form. back at health board's lab room, the fear of needles came because my medic did a bad injection of needles on me and i was a little afraid. had 3 in a row withdrawal of blood for blood test by them but it was a horror to me, because they kept missing the veins and my head was on fire by the second needle. navigation's took place as the needle went it. vomit blood!

today, 3rd October, my appointment to remove my wisdom tooth at 0915hrs. was very calm. was asked to change and wait for like 2 hrs? the wait was painful because i want it out soon. =(

so when the doctor inject a needle in me, i look at my hands as she applies the anaesthetic on me. when she pierce, thankfully it was a bull's eye and i didn't feel any pain. shortly i was ask to go into the operating room. the temperature was cold, 20.7 deg Celsius! and i am feeling my pores are crying out loud, cold!!!so they let me smell this oxygen, that smells more like wasabi, and they injected this dunno what drug into me, i was put to sleep.

before the operation starts off, i was being briefed on the things that will be happening. thank God that I'm not awake and know what has happened. because it is just too scary to see.

they injected this drug in my vein, i felt burning sensation on my hard. suddenly i just knock out like that, evey when i tried to stay awake! so when i was in deep sleep, they insert a breathing tube into my right nostril, all the way down to my windpipe. and i was told to expect some dry blood in my nose! the operation was very smooth, they manage to pluck out 2 teeth perfectly and the other one so sad to see it being smashed up while trying to extract it. it was very disgusting! dare not to see it. but i will be washing it soon. because i wanna keep. hahaha

when i woke up, i couldn't talk when i first awake. my throat was really dry and i was served with a glass of grapes juice. it was like so refreshing when i sip in like 5ml? i couldn't feel my lips back than, when my lips came in contact with the plastic cup i touched. my tongue was still not back in good conditions yet. so when the water touches my tongue, it was tasteless. but i used it to wet my throat, it was so dried up. a clear cough and I'm speaking with confidence again! haha!!

Xiang was there to pick me up. was really glad that he came to see me home. worst still i didn't had enough in my bank, and he paid the payable amount for me. i was really thankful by his actions. I'm wondering what lunch is appropriate to treat him as a form of appreciation.

took a cab home, and he came up to my house. saw my dog but my dog couldn't recognise him and kept barking at him, till he smelled his hands. he saw the rabbit that ranger ask me to safe keep for him for dunno how long. well, at least at home now got 2 whitie, very nice to play around but it seems like the rabbit is afraid of the dog. we'll see how things goes about.

anyway, my dog cried because he couldnt play ith rabbit. haha!

phase 3 and onwards!

2008-09-22T12:55:00.002+08:00

phase 1 and 2 is finally over. i'm in the midst of phase 3 now. phase 4 seems to be broken hopes! SADDNESS!!! phase 5 will come in time. i just got to wait. hehee.....

the day of audit have finally ended, my boss is really happy with me. immediately after the audit, my boss gathered everyone in the department, thank us and congratulate us! and he said that we deserve 2 good 2 days OFF. it was way before the results were out. days later, the unofficial result was out. it was 97.11%! it hit a new record for my unit. at least i created history!! hehe!!! i made it!! Praise the Lord!

shortly after the audit, i really had a short good rest in my bunk. i slept like dead log! it was really refreshing that i do not need to wake up, rushing down to work again, fearing this and that is not completed on time and all. that feeling was so hard to describe it out, the feeling of freedom from a burden!

i'm left with the the checking of documents and settling of the old debts that my upper study have left me. and i'm done with all things! i'm left with less than 40 working days. really need to start clearing up my room, starts to bring things home soon! man i cant wait to get all the things done over with it!

i'm so in need of a part time job now, but i just can't find one... i can't be rotting at home when clearing leave. its not just me to sit and do nothing! man... the fear of losing income in tremendously great! so is the pressure... how scary. a very big pay cut, a big worried that i face. i don't know what is my life going to be like from Jan to Mar... i see that the bills' interest are all killing me alive.

since friday, i was greatly troubled over my area of finances... a rough estimation of 9.6k of debts to clear, and that excludes my SHATEC school fees. really really stressed over it. thank God for a pool of friends that were around me, cheering me up, despite i kept saying i'm not troubled but worried. i was thinking, isnt it the same meaning? Bible verses starts to flood me. things like "Why so down cast O my soul?" and "Seek and you shall find, Ask and you shall receive." things related to all these subjects starts to make me remember them. i soon manage to overcome the distraction in my life. though its a big issue, i still manage to cheer up. thanks to those who have been by my side during my down casted time...

i realised that i hardly get sad or angry nowadays after i have Jesus in my life. Thank you Jesus! my temper was never at peace till i found You! you calm my hot boiling temper! you cool the hot water in me so that the anger will not stirs up again. Thank you Lord!

for the rest of my life, i'm following You.
not because i have to, but because i want to.
not because it's a must, but it's a choice.
not because i follow the crowd, but i follow the commandments.
not because it's just another religion, but it's a relationship with God, the Abba Father.

Father in Heaven,

See our needs, our good and righteous desire in our heart.
Fill us when we're thirst for it,
Flare the fire up that is in us.
Weapons against us never wins,
Open doors for us!
when one is closed for us, another will be open unto us.
We believe in You Father, for the blessings ahead of us!
In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Freedom is nearing

2008-09-07T00:18:00.002+08:00

Phase 1 has passed. it was a big "phew" thing to me! i was so under pressure till the documents were hand in at the end of first week. now the battle of phase 2, Sunday got to return back to camp to prepare all the places are done up properly. suddenly i feel that time is clicking so slow when you want it fast and so fast when you want it slow.

i can't wait for phase 3 to end too. i hope that phase 2 and 3 will end together in this coming week. maybe very unlikely i can complete phase 3 this coming week because there are too many documents to vet through, but still i hope that it will be done this week. looking through numbers... of goodness... will my maths improve after that? maybe since my maths is always on average. haha! but looking through these number is sure painful! hopefully i don't have to deal too much with these numbers ever again.

like many always say "Patience is a virtue", for now i can do nothing but wait. taming my patience is really a big challenge. how should i do it? slow and steady, and enjoy the challenge and get myself maxed out? or is there another better way of taming patience? is it within my control or out of my control? why is waiting so painful? why is my freedom coming so slowly?

Happiness is how we create!

2008-08-29T20:51:00.002+08:00

Finally, the day of submitting the documents is here and over! i felt so light all of a sudden, i felt like i weigh as light as a feather! i couldn't express the joy i had by words... it was really a day that i have been looking forward to badly. the relief that i saw! this is just phase 1 of joy!

phase 2, the groundwork. it is going to be taxing for me as i have to run around the places to ensure that things are done up properly, and by Friday all must be done! i have nothing to fear because i have done my best, but i believe that God will do the rest for me! Amen!

phase 3, after my audit, i will be rushing off all other admin work that i have not yet done. i will be missing for a few days, or maybe weeks just to destress. will "nua" in bunk for a while.

phase 4, more working time with cafe. i can't wait to step into kitchen!! i can't wait to create new dish!! i can't wait for more pocket money too! got to save up for my SHATEC!

phase 5, ORD on 31st December and get engaged into SHATEC!!! and i also can't wait to have a date by than. =(

i have plan this route, i pray that God will help me through these time. counting down to 10th sept, last day of audit!

Its war time again!

2008-08-20T22:42:00.003+08:00

Lately i have been so busy preparing for audit. the monthly maintenance is sure a tough thing for me to monitor as certain things requires very close monitoring. but some things that my colleagues are not working and end up i have to do all these shit. audit now is a game of how ready are you for war. are you doing your daily job and all?

WHATEVER to whatever he says! i hate going out with you as of now! man!!! you're a turn off! i can't understand why you always behave this way. thinking that you're always right and not being humble enough despite being soft to you. are you taking advantage of friends? if that's the case, i will choose to end this friendship, to end your pain and angry every time when you ask me out.
can't take anymore of your bullshit! sickening feeling i feel down my spine!

from the last time i blog till today, things were doing great! God have indeed blessed me with so many things! i'll glad and happy but i am ashame that i did not pray much. i have to stand firm and pray as often as i can!

sigh~! i can't wait to get a date! i can't wait to get her into my arms! she's hanging in mid-air in my heart, somethings troubled over her because of the situation that i am in. depressed and confused!

Working with Blessings

2008-07-28T19:16:00.003+08:00

I was so blessed for the past one month. But I'm so sorry that i couldn't spend time posting up my blogs... Before that i was taking things slowly... but somehow, the days were clicking so fast that i didn't even notice that it has past so many days! i seems to be at "la la land" and i didn't realise it.

i have been idoling and working on my safety project again. Thank God that this time i know what to look out for and know what to do. it was touch the other round but this time it is gonna be easy!!!

I had my sensitive wisdom tooth extracted. Thank God that it didn't hurt much, but the after effect was terrible! i couldn't eat properly for few days. every food that is entering into my mouth needs to be sucked in. i gotta eat wet food, dry food is very hard for me to swallow because i didn't chew my food. =(

I had my most important day on 20th July 2008. I was water baptised on that Sunday morning at City Harvest Church baptism pool! that was the most happiest moment in my life. Myself with 3 other sister took part in this baptism. After we finish the baptism, there was a small celebration. there was candle for us, to be the Light of the world! there was salt for us to eat, to be the Salt of the world! there was apple for us to eat, because we are apple of the eye in the sight of the Lord! i have not post them into friendster yet. i can't find time. =(

Ranger has shifted house to pasir ris!!! yeah!!! can ask him out during weekend. hahaha

What a month! so fun!!!

Fellowship times are precious

2008-06-21T23:33:00.002+08:00

for the past few days, my work seems to be so light!!! it seems like i have nothing much to do now. i am now so free that i have to think of what else have i not done yet... and i can't find anything to do... all the outstanding things left for me requires waiting from other parties... i suddenly felt so bless that i can "eat snake" openly at work! HAHAHA!!!

i can't believe that i went to the art house to appreciate art! it was a "WAOH" thing for me as i never been there before... it was an eye opener for me that very night... though it was a little weird that the pictures seem to have no meaning, but the longer i stared at it, the meaning starts popping out slowly... it does not happens in a split seconds... i happens in a few minutes time...i think those spot lights were too bright that it hurt my eyes so much that i didn't look long at those pics... it was an interesting trip as i got to learn how to fold a paper box that i have always wanted to learn! so fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the next day, Saturday, was fellowship at Tampines Mall seoul garden! i was suppose to go for swim but i failed to!!! i couldn't wake up on time and continued to sleep... luckily Alan called me and his call woke me up, if not i would still be sleeping still... jumped off my bed and sprang off to the bath room to washed up... met them at TM mac and i thought that i was late... but thank God that i was on time...

we went to seoul garden and ate... i thought that i cannot eat a lot because i have not been eating much lately. but to my surprise, i ate like nobody business... i just kept eating and eating and it was a non-stop action. but before i started eating, i was complaining that the meat are all so oily and i thinking of doing something stupid. dipping them into the soup before i ate them but think of it again, i might as well don't eat here... so i ate like i have a bottomless stomach! so much so that i felt full after a very long time, which was like near to 2 hours... i than felt full!

i always have to visit the gents every time after seoul garden... but this time round i was shock that i didn't. hahaha.... at 1515hrs, we all rushed off to expo hall 1 for mass bible study class. we thought that we will be late but to our surprise, we were on time... the lesson were suppose to start punctually on time at 1530hrs but we reach there at 1535hrs... God was indeed timely! after bible study, we had a short pre-service prayer meeting and it was followed with a good word!

what a good week! i want every week to be like that!!!! :P

it just gets better...

2008-06-15T20:45:00.002+08:00

i can't believe the craziest thing in the world... every hiccup that came upon my life was taken away AFTER my prayers... Woah! can't believe it... i just felt better and better unknowingly. Peace was with me! financial prosperity wasn't that much because i don't know how to ask for it. of all things i know how to ask but not in terms of financial... i was funny... i can pray well for everything but not in financial.

this whole week, i can feel that my work load have been lifted up so badly that i find myself lost during working hours... suddenly a lost of direction because i have finish most and in fact all my job. i couldn't believe it. i think my official working hours are like 4 hrs plus only because i act fast in work.

saturday matthew, my first platoon commander, treated us dinner at NYDC bugis. he's back from oversea only for 2 weeks and its my honor to have diner with him and we had a great time catching up. he's left with 1 1/2 year more to graduation. hope he will do well in his scholarship. he rear a golden retriever which i love most among dogs. i can't wait to have one myself! was surprise to know that there's a lack of chefs and cooks over there... the pay was like 30 euro per hour of work! but there is a problem, the people there are racist! hmmm.... i believe by fasting and prayers, things will work out well in the name of the Lord!

i was bumped with an business opportunity again today and the speaker found my needs... the speaker offered me this plan and i am now in the midst of thinking if i should give a try or not. very confused now... every time i get confused, i will sleep. reason behind it is because your mind is overloaded and you need to calm your mind and let it rest before you can take anymore information. stress is not part of our life at all... but we humans created it! crazy us!

crazily more in love with the creator of the universe for He can provide every thing that i am in need and shortage of. He provides me all things in my difficult times... i trust in Him! my Lord and Saviour!

RE: The upside down week

2008-06-11T22:32:00.005+08:00

Dear God,

i thank You for the powerful wisdom and strength that You have blessed me with. i am now able to withstand more stress and workload. i am indeed a stronger person now. thank You Lord. i thank You again for the clear vision that You have painted in my mind. i am able to see the end result of the things that i am doing now. thank You Lord. i thank You for the gift of righteous heart that You have planted into me. i can now say out loud that I WALK ON RIGHTEOUS PATH! thank You Lord!!

But Lord, for the past 7 days, things is not going my way. i can feel the difference. it caught my eye that people are doing the wrong things all over and they show me faces, grumble and even throw temper at me when i correct them. what's wrong with these people? have i done wrong by teaching the right thing? why was it so hard for them to walk the right path? was the wrong path easier to walk? but when i walk the easier path, others will be hit by the mistakes that i made... i have been trying to make a difference in my workplace but people are detesting me because of my righteous way of work. You said in your words that "THE RIGHTEOUS STANDS FIRMLY AND WHEN HE WALKS, HE WILL NOT TUMBLE." what should i do so that they will understand that the things they do were wrong? when then they will learn? God, shed light on me and lead me well! tell me what to do so that i can bring them to light and not hide from darkness...

i have been thinking of excusing myself for not taking part in all the exercise now. should i or should i not? they took me for granted and i really sometime feel like throwing them back everything they have asked me to do. by doing this, am i being selfish?

Lord, i pray that you will enlighten me tonight and give me visions and appear in my dreams... what should i do? i am lost!

a troubled righteous kid
Patrick

Granny's death anniversary...

2008-06-01T17:08:00.004+08:00

today is my granny's death anniversary... all of the uncles and most of my aunts and cousins were here... was glad to see them...

so i got to talk to my gu gu's son, which is my cousin on shatec... got a few good pointers from him. indeed that being a chef is really not an easy job, but it was my passion. so i won't complain much but i will face my fear and overcome it. i will overcome my hear of heat and cuts in no time. yeah!

i have to overcome the temptation of eating food with chilli, as it numbs my taste buds, and spices up the food. i have to get use of not eating chilli!!! it is a torture to me... but i benefit for the long run... i must learn to taste good food!!! endure the temptation of no chilli!!! wahh!!!!!!!!!!!

we had lunch together at dunno which restaurants as a whole family... a total of 15 pax sat down, ate and chat. we were all planning to go to "shao tou" in china, to visit my oversea ancestors!! waoh!!! never been to china before and i was excited to hear that we will be going. the trip was planned and we are all looking forward to it... though i will miss Christmas celebration in church, but i will not miss new year's celebration for sure this year! this Christmas will never be the same as before... so is new year's eve!!!

i simply cant wait for the day to come!!!

anyway, i have decided to extend my ORD date to december because i will be jobless while waiting for school to start. so might as well get more pocket money from army before i leave... hahaha

the official start of my job

2008-06-01T14:49:00.002+08:00

after the trip to Taiwan, i have officially took over the job of transport. suddenly i felt that i was so jam up with so many things to do. i have another round of safety management system audit preparation, transport indenting and checking of paper works. these have been hard on me. that was just work. i still have personal things to do like reading the Bible!! have been lagging too much that i have to spend time catching up the chapters that i have missed. i believe that i can catch up!

from the time i had my last entry, i start to realise that i have been using a lot of my mobile phone to do callings instead of using office phones.... i have to get use to using office phones... i have to get used on not to depend on my mobile phone so much... my mobile phone bill will shoot like rocket to the sky... that's what i fear... despite that i still have my own personal usage. that seems like adding oil to fire !!!

even at the midst of all these busy time, i get to see myself able to handle more stress level in my daily life... i can imagine how busy Jesus was when He was in His ministry. the stress that people looked for him for this and that. for me, it was just a part of his busyness... he was way more busy than me. no horse run!!! i lose to him, that's why he is called God! i wanna be busy with what He is doing, and not doing what others are busy with...

June 1st to 21st is a one hour daily prayer chain... i wish i can have time to pray for that long everyday. my daily job pins me up so badly that sometimes my job ends around 8 plus 9... by than i was so shaq out already... my new officers says that i am at war everyday... so busy with transports and paperwork.

i believe that i will have more time when i seek Him and do His things first!

clicks....

2008-05-20T01:31:00.002+08:00

Vesak day... what shitty day to eat vegetarian! rubbish excuses to eat vegetarian. yes i admit that vegetarian is tasty, but why this date? stupid reason to be eating vegetarian on this day.

it was Desmond's house warming and i was getting ready, also getting my stuff ready to book in at night but in return i forgot my charger... so instead headed home and book in tomorrow.

centre entertainment's QB house... i gave a hard time to the hair dresser because she did not cut the i had my hair cut today... feeling very fresh now because i now look fresh... finally... cut it at jurongappropriate hair style that i need. Shaq fetch me to Desmond's place after my haircut...

KFC and pizzas were waiting for us already as we were on our way to his place... we had long hours chats and playing of the new XBOX 360... graphics were very good is what i would say... it was really quality time spending with friends, catching up and having fun... after that we headed for dinner at IMM "KOPITIAM" it was a great disappointment! i had pig's organ soup... in it was like 2 to 3 slice per items and with many many salted vegetables... taste was alright, still edible... but overall, it was shitty !!! and it cost me $4 for it... goodness... inflation was so bad now... but was inflation the cause of this? i think no... because the stall care taker was from china, and they seems to be eating those customers who came late... piece of shit them... charge so ex and gave way too little... i wonder if GEMS is true at "KOPITIAM"

so after eating, we just continue to chat our way... all the way till we spilt back to our own home... while shaq my dearest buddy send me to bedok... and i took a bus home...

home suppose to be sweet, but to me, not sweet afterall... seems more like home bitter home... or home sour home... where have all the sweetness gone to ? :(

what the world!!!

2008-05-19T23:56:00.002+08:00

"what is wrong with my mother and sister???" this question have been burning in my mind for a very very long time! they are doing funny things at all times... and the most irritating thing is, the so called "funny things" they always do, never fail to piss me off...

the friends of their own parents are behaving like this as well... why is this so? why have they been behaving so strangely? my mum have been going to temple and i think she has lost her mind! she just keep going to temple and pray after work. she will leave house at 5pm and return at around 10pm or 11pm and head to bed shortly. it might sound normal to everyone but it wasn't to me...

house chores have been abandon. leaving most of the chores to my sister, asking her to do the washing. she can even go to the extend of boiling water and forget that she is boiling water and just step out of the house just to go temple and pray, and even ask me to return back to the house to check if she off it.

ya i may sound very obedient to listen to her, but just cant stand her sillyness and lameness of going to temple and OVER-PRAY !!!!!!!!!! this have been getting on my nerves for very long... i even have shirt that needs to be washed, and for 2 weeks, the shirt have not been into water for washing. every month i have been giving enough to sustain all her stupid "donation", transport fees to temple and all.

i felt like leaving home... stay alone or with strangers also can... i was made too in-dependent! i don't even have a proper room for myself. my room is more like a store room or guest room for my sister and my mother... and it sound very stupid and crazy! my mum is sharing a queen size bed with my sister all the while, until i bought a cooler and put in my room, the next day, my mum was sleeping in my room! i was so irritated with her actions...

the urge of shifting out have been getting more and more wanting. everything i do seems wrong, she just keep nagging and nagging non-stop over the same topic for days/weeks and even up to months... explaining to my mum is like a waste of time. she thinks that being in the army sounds so cool and relax. she can even bark at me on sunday night what time i need to go back camp if not, I WILL BE PUNISHED!!!!! i have told her a thousand and one time that i must be back before 12 and she just cant get it into her head. is my chinese so poor that she can't understand? every sunday she will say the same thing, I WILL BE PUNISHED IF I AM LATE!!! WTF !!!!

why can't i really have an own room? even at times when i lock my room, they will take the keys and open up my fucking door! this is something that i cannot stand... telling her thousand and one time seems useless... must tell her one million time, nag back at her and let her taste her own medicine... my mum love to keep junks and they all keep in my room... WTF !!!

thanks for reading my complains... i don't wish to spoil the remaining of my night...

dating...

2008-05-14T22:27:00.002+08:00

yesterday i met up with Vignes for coffee at town area... we was my secondary school mate... i thought that we have lost touch but somehow, we manage to get back together again. we met up and catch up from around 1900 till like 2030. i was thinking why did time fly so fast? or was it that we chatted a lot? we headed back home in our own way... was glad that he is on path with his desire... his dream... now its my turn, or rather, my turn is coming soon.

after meeting him, i met up with ranger... with our busy schedule, we hardly had time to meet because each have our own matters to look into... i met him after i left town and we were suppose to cut hair but the shops were all close by than when i reach yishun! sad... so instead, we ate late night supper at the nearby coffee shop and he sent me back to camp. on the way, he arrange to meet up the next day...

what were we? brothers?? friends?? love birds?? or gay buddy?? we were so close that we didn't hide secrets with one another... every time when he was troubled with something, he will share his burden with me... i have always been his light, giving him solutions or advices...

today we met up, for a feast instead of a dinner... we went to chomp chomp and we ate like nobody business! we had sugar cane juice, hokkien mee, satay bee hoon, orh jian, mutton soup, BBQ chicken wings, chilli sotongs and sting ray! in the midst of all these eating, ranger receive a lot of calls, i can see that he is quite irritated with it. i can see from his expression that he was troubled by something... which i will not disclose it here...

he played a song that i have long forgotten... Brian McKnight! 6,8,12 and back at one... i miss those songs. and also bryan adams album... and as i am typing this blog, i am listening to his songs from youtube. I R R E S I S T I B L E !!!!!!!!!!!

monday not blue!

2008-05-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

i was on a 24 hrs duty on Sunday, mother's day... i missed having dinner with my mum, so i make up by having it with her on Monday dinner instead. i have not got a Monday off. the feeling was so different! i miss the days of not going to work. i wished that this Monday will not pass by so fast. i made this very Monday a good one...

after duty, i went to register for my basic theory again! i hope this time i will pass it once and for all... very sick of myself whenever i fail, and the most irritating thing is that you don't even know where were you wrong at. so hopefully i can pass through the grace of God's eye...

after that i went home, hunt for my swimming trunks and hit Tampines SAFRA for a good time swim! it was a wonderful swim and at the same time a wonderful sun-tan... i swam for about 2 hrs and less... and maybe around 40 laps... my back was aching though i swim at a very slow pace... the weather was thankfully good, with the sun not so hot and not hiding away... :)

after swim, i head back home, with a bit of mild sun burn here and there... i relax by playing starcraft brood war. i have not been playing games for so long! it was wonderful that no one called me for work! it was like sunday but not sunday!

after gaming, myself and my mum head to bugis to meet my sister for a family dinner. also a make up for mother's day dinner. we ate at a vegetarian restaurant... food was good! i love it, event though it was vegetarian... after dinner, we head back home... and i continued gaming again...

what a day! i wish i can have this kind of weekday every week, before i starts school with the cooking school (which i have yet to decide which to go). i hope everyday will be the same! :)

back to you

2008-05-10T23:23:00.002+08:00

i was finally back to Singapore and immediately i felt a big difference... the big bad weather! i starts to perspire easily when i step out of Changi airport... i felt my skin back being sticky. it was like slimmer (the ghost busters green slimy thing) have just fall on me! very uneasy and quite sad to adapt back to Singapore's weather... because Taiwan is so cooling in the night! so cooling that you don't even need fan or air conditioner!

meantime while coming back to Singapore is good also because i miss home! i miss my dog, i miss my bed, i miss mee pok, i miss my buddy and friends and i miss church! but when the plane starts flying off back to Singapore, i starts to miss the "shao bing" in Taiwan! but thank God that i know how to do it. i can't wait to do it myself and try it out! i even miss the local products like grilled sotongs and the famous Taiwan sausages!

when i hit back home... my dog just can't stop licking at me because i was away from home for so long... i think he miss my smell and care... he sat with me the whole day on my lap not moving much, just wanting me to stroke at him... as usual, he will lick my hands, neck and cheeks...

a week before i flew to Taiwan, i actually starts picking up smoking again... at that time, i was stressed out with some issues and i don't wish to share it with anyone at first, i just wanted something to accompany me and that thing can't talk. and that so called best things are cigarettes... i started smoking again before i flew to Taiwan. started from light to average and when i was at Taiwan, i became heavy smoking. until a point where i suddenly get sick of smoking and was coughing badly. i just couldn't cough out the disgusting phlegm that is stuck in my throat.

so i eventually said to myself that i must stop! i don't want to continue smoking when i am back in Singapore... from reds, charcoal filter, i smoke menthol lights and my throat starts to get better. and from getting better, i manage to cough out the phlegm that is stuck in my throat. it was sticky and greenish! and that means i am very heaty! so slowly, even after i smoke menthol, i still gets a bad feeling of it because it makes me wanna puke this time! so slowly from 10 to 5 to 2 to none... i broke the promises to myself, now i have to start all over again. 7th May 2008 0400hrs was my last stick of cigarettes. i have to stay strong in this promise again!

few times as smokers smoke pass me, the urge of smoking was there but i manage to get control of it and manage to focus on doing something else that is more healthy to my body. few times i were tempted but i know that if i keep saying tomorrow is a better day, i will never be able to stop smoking. so thank God that i did not pick up that urge or not i am a goner! Praise the Lord!

many have not known that i have picked up smoking again and have let it go again. my buddy doubt me, its fine with me because at the end of the day, i know what i am doing, good or bad. well, its better to confess than to keep it as a secret. many will think that it was excuses, but how many have actually thought of what am i thinking of before they offer solutions to my problems? i think that no one have thought of what was my brain thinking before they said "excuses". quite sad to hear that but it was true... now, i'm on my way to stop smoking and building the promises again! i pray to God that this wish will not be broken again! and i pray that i will receive the strength to stay strong in it.

i wish to settle down with a life partner soon but i have yet to find one... not even a close one... i pray that He will send one right one for me and if i am blind by so many things, i pray that He will open my eyes so that i can see who she is. is love lacking in my life? i think its a yes to it. or can someone say no for me? i'm quite confused with who i should date and where i should find dates... i wonder if i will be engaged by the age of 28... does my life sound screwed? i hope not...

in another 6 month or so, i will be resigning from the forces... the burden of jobless was heavy, the burden of school fees was heavy, as well as the daily and living expenses... i believe that God will provide me a way... i most prob will be going to study in F&B line first, to get more networks of the outside world, though it will be like shit. i have to endure on, as this IS my passion. no one have forced me into F&B line. not like army, i will still have to serve it anyway, so at that point of time, money first, career second... now career and money are fighting to be the number 1 place in my life. at times i am very confused about this... money problems are slowing trying to surface up, i am trying to keep my cool and be able to manage it.

Retirement plans, Relationships and Residential. all seems to be linked into one... and it seems to be tied down to one thing, money. i have to built my business up before i hit 28. i want to hit my first $10k per month before i hit 30. i believe that my business will prosper in many ways and i will receive hundredfolds of profits! i hope for multiple income by 32, at least 3 source of income just from me alone... i hope this dream will come alive in me... thank you Lord!

AFTERTOUCHED

2008-05-07T21:59:00.002+08:00

finally everything have come to an end, and it was time to relax! myself have a lot of food way before the tour started. i had "shao bing" which is like "fold over" from MacDonald but it consist of chicken or pork inside. it comes with large onion and some unknown sauce... it was so delicious! especially when it is hot. and 1 of this "shao bing" is equivalent to 1 of my meal. and i felt bloated in just 1 of those!!! and it cost only like NT60, which is like SGD$3. yum yum! the more i think about it, the more hungry i wants it!

so as the tour started, we went to "Jian Fu Shan Fancy world" simple, it was a theme park with roller coaster and all... so fun!!! i remember the floorless roller coaster that goes round and round till i got tired of shouting.... at night, we went to "Raohe night market" majority of the shops were selling woman's clothes and not much of the guys clothes... so there wasn't much to shop around...

the next day, we went to "Xiao Ren Guo" which means mini world. but it was raining that day, though we still went in, we didn't go around and explore but we hid under shelter... after that we were suppose to go to Leofoo Safari park but because of bad weather, we went to Taipei's largest mall. in the mall itself, there was a gigantic "Muo Tian Lun" built in the shopping mall. and it was also Taiwan's biggest shopping mall ever built! at night, we went to "Shilin night market to roam, though it was still raining, the rain was quite small, in fact, it stopped very soon as we reach there...

and on the last day, we went to "Ximen" another place for shopping! nothing much to shop but we saw a number of good things... hahaha... and we flew off back to SG on the 6the May 2210 flight. i missed home so much....

after 2 weeks.....

2008-04-21T13:45:00.001+08:00

Taiwan was sure like a living hot oven at the same time a cold freezer! at night, temperature outside building can be as cold as 18 degree and as hot as 34 degree. unknowingly, i have got a lot my body sun tan! my face, limbs and even my body. the sun was so hot that it burns through the clothes that i wore!

few days ago, news of typhoon will hit Taiwan and it might affect the training. i prayed to God that even if the typhoon hits Taiwan, it will not affect our training. our rest and recreation might also be affected! Praise the Lord! the typhoon hit China instead! but i wonder if China citizen will be affected badly.

the food here, i am a little sick of it. i starts to miss SG food!! i might have a feast of local delights when i arrive SG. i miss my bed, i miss my dog!

i took some very nice shots that i cant wait to post it in friendster! right now i have to wait for everything to end before i can collect pictures from all my friends! everyone took different pics.

i have been sleeping late around 12 lately because i end work around 11plus and have very little rest at night. i still pray even though i am tired at night. lot of healing came to me... especially to my lip crack! it was irritating but i believe that it will be healed. and so it was. i was blessed!!!

today evening i will be going out for the grand finale exercise. it is the last exercise that i will be going through. though it will be a long 10 days, but i am going to make myself enjoyable and show my true colours that i have. as in terms of skills and leadership. it is time that i explode all these things that i have kept it. but i wonder if my friends will freak out or hate me because i sound a vlittle aggressive when i am "on the ball".

as these 2 weeks, i notice that there are condemnation and out cast of personnel taking place. in the midst of my busy and precious time preparing stuff, i am that only one dining with them... listen to their problems and understand their problems and offering solutions to their problems. all of them soon stick to me as i have took care of them. seems like they have respected me more because of my personality instead of my rank.

in the past 2 weeks, we had small exercise... i get to chat with Taiwan soldiers... they were friendly but there is a problem! i cant communicate well with them because i have problems explaining to them in chinese... who can help me pull up[ my socks in chinese ??

i got to know a soldier who is going to be a teacher in taiwan after he leave the force. i took a picture with him... hopefully we can keep in contact and be overseas friends...

i hope things will be good... cant wait for RnR now... i'm going crazy soon... sigh!

the life at Taiwan

2008-04-12T21:07:00.002+08:00

i touched down in Taiwan on the bright sunny Sunday morning as early as 7am. it was quite a culture shock for me as it i never expect the camp to be so tear down... it was more like a kampong style but slightly better.

there were a lot of hygiene problems here as we don't have proper place to do our laundry. the water here is not portable... it was good and bad... there were limited hot water for shower. we all have to drink from mineral water. life is good here, relax and the wind is so cooling to me but very hot in the day... recently i just got a small lips crack. it was due to the strong wind and the humid level was low...

the food here was good. never get to eat some food in Singapore... it was superb!!!!! i manage to take some photographs... will be uploading it into my friendster account at www.friendster.com/patrickseng

in Singapore, only at P. Tekong i can than see real stars, and they were limited. over here in Taiwan, the whole sky is full of stars! i even saw shooting star 3 TIMES !! i was really a good sight to see.

i like the milk tea here... it was really good. fresh and well blend! the chicken chop was as well good, but only from the "ninja van" as they were fresh but unhygienic!

that's all for what i can say now... do drop me a message to my hp via websms to contact me and i will sms to your phone... it cost 60cents per sms!!! at the meantime, take care and wait for my next blog!!!

The finding...

2008-04-05T09:39:00.002+08:00

The audit results were out... it was better than last work year... 96.38% for this work year... a 0.1% improvement in overall and my boss was very happy about it. he let us chose how many days of off we wanted... that's what many love to hear... in an organization, it is good to hear that but hard to achieve that kind of request... we dare not ask for more... we just ask for 3 days of off... finally i can take off!!!

i had never felt so good last week... i was on a week off... for the weekends that were burned in Taiwan... haha! i felt that i have AWOL.. quite funny though.... the feeling was very weird...

after this week's off, this Sunday i am flying to Taiwan... i wonder if i will be missed by anyone... haha! but i will surely miss Singapore's food... have tonnes of green packet waiting for me... yucks!

i was helping out with my friend in his delivery line.... though it was tiring, it was a learning place for me as well... i have never been to a warehouse before... and i know that the boss were powerful people... their factory was burned down due to "short circuit" after the findings... the whole warehouse was burn to ash... if i were them, my morale will drop tremendously, won't even wanna start the business again... it was everything gone... but the boss manage to pick himself up so fast and within 2 years, their warehouse was back to it's original shape and size!

if my buddy respect this kind of boss, what can i do? i will do the same, respect them as well. what more can i ask of? i wanna learn from them how did they pick themselves up so fast... or was it the nature of the business and that was a demand in Singapore...

D Day is drawing near yet...

2008-03-11T14:32:00.002+08:00

Audit date was drawing near and i thought that it was time that i can slow down my pace. as lately, Mas Selamat Kastari have escape from detention, it has brought troubles to of us. i thought that he will be caught within a few days and things will be back to normal. but i was wrong...

thanks to our beloved MAS SELAMAT KASTARI, i was given no rest! he have been hiding somewhere in the woods and everyone in the uniform group i hunting for him. we have to prepare the planning of all checkpoints and prevent him from escaping. why was it that an army can't find a man? was it because he is too good for us? or was it because he is being stubborn and refuse to show up? if he stands in front of me right now, i will blind him, mute him and chop off his fingers. why? blind him so that he cannot see where to target next, mute him so he cannot talk to his younger generation of terrorist and chop off his fingers so he cannot write.

though i sound so inhuman but what to do? he provides threads to us instead of peace. if ever i know that a terrorist stands in front of me. i think i will throw rotten pig meat at him first and than force him to pork. not to condemn any religion or whatsoever, he is being too holy that pissed everyone off. who thinks that killing is not a sin? (those who agree just, keep breathing) see?? everyone agrees that killing is a sin, and why is he still so interested in killing?

if he wants to be a government? does he thinks that it is so easy to be a government? being a terrorist only makes the government hates you more and hunt you down more faster, that's all! he just bring shame to the nation and worst, the woman that bore him out to this world.

why can't there be peace? even watching a soccer match ALSO got people fight. LAME !!!! STUPID !!! IMMATURE !!! are all the words that i can say to these people.

hai~ that's all i have to say for now... tired of thinking of him. may serpents, scorpions, red ants, centipede and wild boar all bit him, let him be paralyse for days and night and let an anaconda swallow him up. may this kind of thread of the world disappear for ever and never again there will be terrorist!!! Peace to this cursed world!

Chinese New Year celebration

2008-02-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

i wasn't really in the mood to prepare for chinese new year as i was still mentally tired... not enough rest yet still... but still have to fake the mood out... hai~ didn't really help out much at home with the spring cleaning as i was hardly at home... i tried my best to clear as much as i can before i return back to camp... dump so much rubbish away...

on CNY eve, had a mini celebration at camp before i meet ivan and headed home. i notice that as i grew older, i seems to lost the interest in celebrating it.

today was CNY and i was quite reluctant to go as my family gathering will be on sunday. i felt like staying at home and have a good time sleeping and surfing the net. have been badly bombarded with a lot of facebook request. so many until i gave up. i was suppose to go to 9 temple with my mum and after that to my grandma's house. upon hearing that, i

i was force to wake up and go over to my grandma house instead of going to the 9 temples. reason, my grandpa's knee was hurting, so we didn't walk at all... thank God! so we headed down to jurong west via cab. it has been a few years already since i last saw my grandma. she still looks the same...

we went for vegetarian restaurant to have lunch there, after that they wanted to walk the newly constructed temple at tanjong pagar that area... went there walk walk see see look look... nothing much... boring trip... after the walk walk see see look look, so after that headed home and ended my day...

The phase at work

2008-02-03T01:17:00.000+08:00

it is about 3 weeks since i have not written in my blog. my schedule was so jam pack that i can hardly breathe at all. don't even have time to have good rest to complete my work and reading my bible. now i am off track my bible reading... all thanks to you, the evil one~! may all the shame and shit be put upon you!!

everyday was so directly dry, do up my safety notice board and safety checklist for the unit to follow on. was very tiring over doing my checklist especially. have to meet all standards to prevent others from finding faults in us. this was the life that i have been going thru for the past 3 weeks or so. boring weeks indeed!

i nearly fall sick lately as i have been going to ammo dump to help other draw ammunition. i wonder how many will pity me as nobody will remember the backstage workers! i wonder how many camp mates will give me words of encouragements when i am down. i wonder who will give me a helping hand when i need those hands, who will lend those ears when i need one, who will provide an answer when i need one...

though i have no doubts on God but at times i don't understand why is my life so hard. was it because that i hardly pray, so that my life is harder?

Preparation for Audit check....

2008-01-11T23:18:00.000+08:00

at the beginning of this week, i was asked if i want to be part of the safety management system force. my job will be preparing all the works and distributes to the others and make sure they follow and also to make sure that things are all in place. as i was experience in doing this last work year, i decided to give a helping hand.

i have tried to recall as many things as i can. i remembered that the last safety management audit gave me no day no night. it was just keep working and working and working. it was a hell long week. that was my memory and it was my past. now i am grateful that i do not have to work until like last time, no day no night as i have a more specific task. last work year my task was everything down the long checklist. it was a challenge!

my task this time was just to make sure that the safety board is completed with the required information pinned up and make sure the others did follow the standard as the safety team has set. i am quite unsure on where to get the information as last time i get informations from them and pinned it up. now i have to give them informations and let them pin up. did you see the difference? it was really indeed a pain in the ass... a lot of searching high and low and asking here and there was done. it was tiring BUT i like it because it has tested me mentally.

friday doesn't seems to be like a working day as i was roaming around like a lost soul... hid in edmund's cubical and played game instead of working. haha...

sunday church

2008-01-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

Sunday came and i met lai meng at Tampines MRT station. was glad that he did not put me aeroplane... we went for breakfast at east point mall and Alan was suppose to join us but he overslept. so we meet him in church instead. on our way there, lai meng was open to anything i asked him. i respect people who owns an open mind!

service started at 0930 instead of 10 and if i knew earlier, i will have came earlier. lai meng got a shock and so did i. i was wondering how come they started so early... he was totally lost in church... he didn't know what to do...

the first weekend in 2008 i spend it in church, i am glad that i did that... pastor talks about focusing on my goal. a great topic for a new year for me. i have not really know what focus really means in life until they gave lots of examples. an example of HP computer. i didn't know that HP computers were that bad after they start to lose focus in their printing industry and wanted to compete with other companies.

with this example, i now have know the importance of focusing in life... HP will always be a good example of mine and to learn from them the mistake the CEO made. if you want to know more, find out yourself about HP past. hahaha

lai meng headed to enous as he have to go to his grandma house for lunch, so myself and Alan went for lunch at pastamania TM. we chatted and he bring me around for shopping some good watches... haha i cant wait to get a good watch that worth a few hundreds.

after window shopping, i met up with Tina and Sherrill at Bugis for discussion of Alan's 21st birthday. wanted a good one for him as he hit 21... mine was very horrible celebration, or in fact i didn't even celebrate at all... no money at that time even though i have a good plan. well to me, birthday is the day that marks the day that you are born and another year older... that's all and nothing special about it. we had a lot of walking that day and i didn't know that there are so many new things in the city... man someone please be kind and bring me out to town for some shopping please....

after the discussion, i met up with ranger and his friends for a movie, national treasure. it was indeed a good movie as it was about adventure.. that's all... hahaha and after the movie, we had a light dinner and we headed back our separate ways home, for me camp, Confined At Military Prison... =(

MCF dine and bible study

2008-01-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

MCF stands for Military Christian Fellowship and not Makan Come First! on Monday itself, my brigade commander's secretary called me and ask if i can make it for a dinner this sat and i was quite shock to hear it. she says it is some Christian fellowship dinner and our brigade commander is going... well it seems like it is a chance to get to know him more, as i have never had the chance to talk to him like that in an informal dinner. COA was there General Winston Choo was there as well and a lot of other head of this and that were there as well. thinking back, it was indeed proven that you are not alone when you are with God!

we had a great dinner, and of course a great message before dinner.Rev John Sim, no idea from which church, preach about His words. this is the first time i had such dinner and i believe that a lot of soldiers are unaware of this annual affair. wasn't quite use to the way of their praise and worship, maybe its because of the place is limited so not much musical instruments were brought there. there were praise and worship as well and also a performance.... really a great night that i had at Temasek club.

when myself and Alan reach Temasek club, Alan told me that Temasek club is like a chevron for the officers core... i was shock to hear that. we walk around and it seems like there isn't much facilities and i wonder if the officers come to these places because i saw the swimming pool drainage like stuck... hahaha... and that place is quite torn down... they have a very interesting logo, that looks like sunshine empire logo as well! haha

today i had my very first bible study with wei qiang and wei xiang (the 2 wei ker) from serene the teacher! didn't knew much about bible study and was surprise to hear that there are a number of books that we have to complete. Interesting! and now i am looking forward to having bible studies every Saturday after cell group meeting! Praise the Lord!

Lai Meng, (one of my store man) is coming to church with me tomorrow. so excited to see him come to church with me... and i pray that he will respond to the alter call and believes in Jesus Christ and accept Him to be his Lord and Savior and will spread the good news to his family! Amen! Believing is having Faith in God!

one plus one is not three!

2007-12-11T14:15:00.000+08:00

It has been a month plus since i have last updated my blog. many things, good and bad have happen... haha...thank God for everything that has happened. good and bad... dunno where to start first also...

below is a short brief or summary of what happen to sua ku from 17Th November till 1st Jan

for the month of November:

i have been falling sick this month and i have no idea why as well! after falling sick, i have problems recovering and i am still so weak by than... November is nothing much but just army, church, TMS and sunshine empire. I was so called "kicked out" of TMS because the partners says that i lack participation in it so off i go...

for the month of December:
not much duties but i did duty on the eve of new year! it was real bored for me. not really a good time to pass new year in camp like that. i bought a prime status from sunshine empire for $10,000 and i am now $28,800 rich in assets! first assets and i am so glad that i did it. if you're interested to find out please email me and don't tag in my tag box asking me about sunshine. i will sharpen my knife and stab you to death... HAHAHA just kidding... in this month alone, i have been having buffets and steamboats... have eaten until i hit the weight of 85kg! can't believe it that i gain so much weight in such a short period of time.

i had an eating competition at sakae sushi... it was a hell of nightmare for me... eating sushi after sushi non-stop for 8 long mins... it was really long during that 8 minutes and 8 mins wasn't that long before... have been trying hard to swallow those big round sushi into my throat... those sushi are real dry man... and i have to sip water through my lips to wet those food in my mouth. few times i nearly threw up and i know that if i did, it is the most embarrass thing that will happen to me... and i will lose morale in it. so i hang on and tried to swallow the food in my mouth... you can see me in the following website: http://www.apexpal.com/sushichallengefoto.html

I spent my Christmas celebration at church and at boat quay with Charles, his sister, Desmond and his wife. 5 of us together spending Christmas eve night together and we had a mini gift exchange... was surprise to see what Charles has given me as the birthday present, a MP3 sun glass. I'm not sure how much it is worth and i have never thought of it as a gift and i was so surprise by his gift.

On Christmas day itself, I was at church and we have a lot of fun there... we had a small gift exchange on that day itself and we had durian log cakes! the smell of durians made everyone drool badly... i bought a small keychain for everyone and though it cost a bomb, i still didn't mind about it because Christmas is all about giving! i kinda regret that i did not spend it well for the past Christmas that i had... but this year onwards, life will never be the same again as before...

on new year eve itself, i am doing duty in camp as i bought over the duty from chandru and till now i keep wondering if i have made the right choice to buy the duty from him or not...

so that's all for those months that i have been missing... hahahah

Influences, the good and bad...

2007-11-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

times flies just like nobody's business. it was November already and i have not blog for so many days... i was so tired of everyday going from home to mandai hill camp and from mandai hill camp back to home. the journey and transportation fee was a killer... and dinner i have to settle it myself... sian 1/2...

i have been attached to the shooting team for a month already and i am getting the urge to shoot with them as well. its seems so fun but they are going for competition this coming November at Thailand... i wish them all the best. i hope i can go with them.

now i wish i was part of them... they are fun to be with, i just felt like i could join them and shoot with them... though i am often stuck in the ammo point and they are always shooting and me watching (sometimes). but thinking again, the transportation is killing me very bad... and I'm so troubled with this posting thing now. there is no other place better to go.

the last day at ssc, it is the only day that i get to rest only. other than that is ammo ammo and ammo... the feeling of free was so good! i have always wanted to be free but i am still trap in the army... sian... we were invited to sembawang country club for lunch and the lunch was at 1pm and we reach there at 11.30am. we have to idol there for very long and the worst thing is we don't know what are we waiting for also.

the wait was very long and not many bother about us. we made a fool out of ourselves in the lounge just to make ourselves occupied. somehow we manage to sky through time until they said that we can consume. haha...

because i had block nose, i couldn't taste the food! even chilli doesn't taste spicy because my block nose was that bad! hahaha! and we have to eat with the air con blowing at my warm food.... making my nose feel worse. after that we receive some souvenirs and we left home...

kinda sad to leave that place because we were so use to the daily routine that we do daily and the route to camp... it has built a memory in me and also another view on shooting contingent.

New again!

2007-10-16T19:24:00.000+08:00

Caleb invited me to his church to see him perform. i thought that it will be just a normal singing performance but somehow, the performance made me felt something that i have lost 7 years ago, that was attending church! the feeling for me was wonderful but i'm not sure how will the others feel.

i felt an urge to go back to God, that was how i felt in the middle of the performance. what i can said was that the love of God was more powerful than any other love that could be found on earth as it is in heaven.

as the performance ended, i took some actions, i sms faith to ask her to bring me to church. she simply replied me that she has stop going because of personal reason. :( but she will ask her sister to bring me to church. :)

the next day, we met at expo mrt station. there are so many people! they even have usher along the road side. there were so many people making their way to church! and as i walk into the entrance of the church, i felt like i was walking into a concert hall! but in fact it was a concert hall and it doesn't look like church.

tears were so uncontrollable for me that it just kept flowing down during worship time. i have always though that i am able to control my emotions but i was very wrong this time. it just flowing down. i couldn't control it at all. no idea why... before the service ended, i respond to the call, i saw pastor aries, he was my cell group leader 7 years ago when i was in church. by than he was addressed brother aries, now pastor aries. he was very shock to see me and could see that he felt very happy for me. we exchange contacts when the service ended.

attending church was that fun and good. can't wait to attend church service every sat now. :)

Attached to a new place doing the same old thing

2007-10-12T14:12:00.000+08:00

i was attached out to mandai hill camp since Monday... camp was far inside mandai area... its near the zoo some more... lagi sian... deep into woodlands area... i was going back to where i came from last time... i was attached to SAF Shooting Contingent... my boss told me that i will be attached to become safety specialist, end up i was being the ammo in charge... sian half already by than... doing everything all over again... just that i have no idea what is their practice like.

second day was starting to get boring already... and i wonder how to past my time for another 1 month... just 2 days and it is already killing me. sigh... i had problems with the times over there as it is very slow... i'm not use to having my time past so slowly...

i have tried bringing books to the live firing area to read and i got disturbed very easily by the things around me., especially the monkeys... they will come and touch your stuff because they are just looking for food. my soya bean was taken away by those irritating monkeys. they were really disgusting!! they actually suck the soya bean up from the floor that is so dirty. oh goodness... cant take it man... and they seems to enjoy it so much!! goodness...

i was feeling "walao, why am i so careless? i lost my breakfast to a monkey!" thank goodness that its just a pack of soya bean... i wonder what i will do if it is my breakfast!

transport is killing me hard! i predict that my this month transport fees will be around $70 to $100. hai~ heart pain ah...

A thing to look forward to now...

2007-10-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

today i was suppose to meet caleb (a guy i knew during common phase of my platoon sergeant course) for breakfast but it never happen... why?? because early in the morning it was raining and i was wondering why am i so lazy this morning and wonder why am i still in bed... the alarm rang from 0630 hrs all the way till 0700 hrs and i just couldnt wake up. i only manage to wake up at 0715 hrs. 5 more minutes to call in and i just sprang out of my bed, change into my number 4 and i was down in less than 5 mins... i even slowly walk to toilet to release myself first, and that took up another minute.

down at first parade, we, or rather most of us, have to attend the so call IPSC thing... just kept wondering if it is good for me to attend it or not. the good thing is, its a so called refreshment to me and also an update. the bad thing, waste time... so i sat there and listen...

i met caleb during lunch time as a make up for what i have missed in the morning. we can sit in the cook house from 1230 hrs to 1315 hrs just talking and joking. we seems to have endless topic... after lunch, i have to go back for IPSC part 2... where i was taught on how to use hand cuffs... majiam i never use before... but there were some things about hand cuffs i have never heard before... sorry, cant say here... too bad... ask a police officer to cuff you and i will tell you what are the special thing that i am talking about.

so after lesson, i just idol around again, walk here and there... doing nothing and photocopy papers and basically that's my job. around 1500 hrs, my beloved john break the news... i am on duty on the 15th morning till 16th morning 0800 hrs but i have to leave camp at 0300 hrs in the early morning on the 16th just to go to pasir laba ammo dump to collect ammo.. i wonder why so early... hate to rush and wait and wait to rush...

so somehow no need to go for field camp but also got a lot of shit to clear... so the sad... have to help them in this ad that... hai~

so dinner time i met caleb again. this time we chatted from 1800 hrs to 2200 hrs... cannot imagine that we can really chat that long...

anyway we chatted regarding a trip to batam... now its the thing that i am looking forward to...

Energy + Motion = Emotion

2007-10-01T15:40:00.001+08:00

lately i seems to be able to control my emotions over the unhappy side. i don't seems to get angry or sad so easily as before... was it the lessons i have learn from the past or books that i have been reading on?

i just still cant control my happy emotions yet. still learning and practicing how to control it. so in any cases, when i'm angry or sad or fustrated or whatever bad moods i have, i just have to calm myself down because i can't think when these bad moods are running around my mind. i am not going to let my emotions push me around anymore... i'm making way for my pride, confidence and professionalism take full control of my mind, to make things happen.

serlin have declared that we stayed as friends because she wanted to focus on her studies and business. it was quite a sad thing for me to see as we sms, i even tested water and she really showed me how much she wanted to stay single. so i just have 2 options, "KIV" or "New one."

lately i attended my friend's ROM, she was a year older than me and we knew each other like since i was 15 or 16, together with my buddy, we were all working neighbours. days like christmas or chinese new year, we will often come out for gathering and catch-up. time really fly fast as she is now officially married. next year end will be their customary wedding dinners. hope it will stick to their plans... when they were announced "man and wife", deep in me, i wonder when will my turn come...

now only leaving me, shaq and desmond. i had a $50 bet with shaq that desmond will be next as i am still single, shaq is single but unavailable and desmond is attached. hope he will be the next one... and also, i have to think where should i have my ROM and customary dinner be held! i want it grand! =)

i have been reading rich dad poor dad lately and yes, i understand that doing business is not an easy thing but nonetheless, i'm still giving it a shot. i don't wanna waste my life working, just like a hamster running in the cage. now i officially say, i have a new hobby of READING!!!

sometimes i just wonder why people hate reading when you're reading something that will help you, regardless of helping you grow rich or look better or whatever that is good. reading no good meh? "its actually what you read" is what i will say to a person that hates reading. those who hate reading should give a try... can ask me what books to read... =)

a long break that everybody wants!

2007-09-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

after the 24km route march, it also marks the end of the BMT phase! burning my army open house weekend, BMT field camp weekend. 2 weekend burn straight in a row, my buddy said that i have worn out and i really need a break! by than, my mind is already very confused with work. everything seems to be going the wrong way. i just couldn't find out the answer why until my buddy told me that i need a freaking long break! i got myself 7 days of off and i am already very glad that at least i escape from work for a while and have a good break.

time really fly faster than working hours... just a blink and 2 weeks of off and leave is coming to an end.. kinda sad as i cannot continue working on Monday and Tuesday and stay at home the rest of the days... hai~ i now want this kinda life... and now i am wanting to have my life like that... I'm gonna give myself a chance that by 30, i should be waking up at 9, having brunch with friends around 11. have high tea at 3 plus or 4, exercise by the beach at evening time, dinner by the beach. more like you go for a resort in sentosa or tioman. i wish for this life now and i wanna make it happen. by 30 yrs old, which is 6 years from now, i want this dream to be fulfilled.

during this 2 week break, my buddy brought me along doing his delivery as he is working as a delivery boy. better than staying at home, it is more fun to be out, especially a friend that have already treat you like his blood brother. i am the eldest and never had an elder brother or sister so every time when i need opinion, he is the first one that i will talk to and ask him how he feels about it. i never talk to my mum is because she always wants me to make the safest decision. as we all know now, there isn't a decision that will be safe and everything involves risk. i just wonder why can't my mum let me do what i want to do.

anyway, i got to meet this young lady, name Selin, during the first week of break. i get to know her through wholivesnearyou. she was a busy person studying in SIM and at the same time in Sunshine Empire. somehow, i like to look into her eyes, i just don't know why. an unexplained feeling is what i felt when i looked into her eyes. i just enjoy looking at her, no matter how busy i was, how tired i felt or how sick i am, just a simple eye contact or a smile from her will max my energy bar. but the problem now is that she wants to be remained single and make money work for her.

i cant explain why i like her. could it be that i'm out of love for too long any any girls that came to my line is likable? i hope this is not the reason why i'm liking her. or is there a reason that you must have to like a person? can someone answer me ?

24km route march at ECP

2007-09-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

2 long distance march within 2 week, really a pain in the ass... feeling very tired and restless, we still have to gear up and walk the distance... as the point of contact, i have many things to look into... things like stores and participants... the march is a boring one, a turn off, i would say. also there seems to have some communication problems with the company lines...

first, the most horrible thing that went wrong was that everyone was late for the assembly. all because everyone's watch is showing different time, and because of the "i wait for you and you wait for me" practice, or rather known as "monkey see monkey do" action, that's why everyone was late. after some morale talk by CO, we than board the bus and head to ECP.

when we reach ECP, after all the briefing and talking, we started the march in 2 waves because the buses was indented in 2 waves... don't know whose idea was that but it shows a sign of no integrity. so C, SP and HQ just started marching off as first waves... we were told not to sing along the way. so we all kept quiet starts to joke among one another. i join and joke around with the medics that were marching beside me.

its was a long march... because it was boring but we tried our best to joke around and make the walk an interesting one. at the U-turn point, i was told to take off my pack and remove my helmet because as a safety, I'm supposed to walk with my webbing and jockey cap and not full battle order. though it was light for me, it wasn't easy for my back. when we hit the end point and did our warm down, the feeling was good... because we get to rest. for me, i had to stretch my back as it really irritates a lot, especially the lower back muscles group that have suffered strains before... sometimes i just can't understand why must we push on when it hurts. it just increases the chances of injuries... i sometime have to wonder how and what is an officer is thinking! they just wanted you to complete it and not fall out and that's it. they want you to complete the march just one time where you don't have to re-walk again. i wonder if they have ever think of how that person struggling felt. i wonder if they will put themselves into their shoes... pushing on is good but pushing too much is not good, especially physically...

after warm down, we saw the second wave troopers coming in. we just don't understand why are they singing! that was a real embarrassment to me because it shows that the unit is screwed up. we were told not to sing but why is the other group singing? what kind of communication skills are we showing? every soldier now shouts "READY" every time they seat at ease or acknowledge. every READY they shouts turns out to be rubbish every day and every min. full of craps is all i can say!

everyone was resting when suddenly the rain just drop down hard from the sky! everyone ran for shouters in ECP. 500 soldiers all around ECP with their rifle seeking shelter. some have to seek shelter in the under pass! well, this is unpredictable! what worse was that the walk ended early! everyone have to wait for the freaking bus! why can't they just sticky to the timing given? even though there are bound to have changes, why didn't they change the bus timing as well? i'm starting to hate the top management people already because they think that they wanna change and it will be changed immediately!

ending up, HQ took tonner back home. it was a long sleep on the tonner. the rest gotta wait for the buses to come. my poor friend shariff got to wait till everyone is gone before he goes back. he is taking the big boss's cars back to camp. oh man... sometimes i really wonder what are these people doing...

BMT field camp, sorry, its a scout camp instead!

2007-09-15T16:17:00.001+08:00

before I could recover and rest well for the next event, I have plan how to rest well during my stay at Tekong but it all suddenly change. my CSM have ask me to perform guard duty, main reason, he got not enough specialist so need me to help out, with all thanks to the CPL Dave Teo, security have step up a lot, sometimes I don't know to thank him or to curse him because as we all know, army so wayang, everything go through motion, but sad for him that he is charged with 3 charges. anyway, guard duty on a Saturday is boring and it nearly drive me crazy. why drive me crazy is because the guards under me really piss me off big time and I just felt like giving every one of them a good punch to wake up their freak idea on what they have been doing. sigh, I hope that something "good" will happen so that they will wake up.

so after this shitty guard duty, I have yet to pack my stuff so I rush a lot. I thought I can get out of camp like 9am but I was wrong. :( get to step out at 9.45am and by the time I reach interchange its around 10am already and I hadn't had time to find 3 original VCD for HQ movie screening. initially for what I heard was its for the recruits. the best thing, I heard all is gonna have BBQ for BMT field camp. this field camp is totally full of bullshit. everything is done with no standards, even the SME's cant do a shit about it because our big boss wants it that way. WTH!!! WTF is he just trying to do??? he just think that they are some private soldiers already huh... sigh! thank goodness he wanted me to move on the army and now I'm waiting to be posted out if not I'll be the first one to kill myself because they are now not fit to even be a private soldiers.
SHAME ON THEM! not surprise that they wont get best unit for this year.

so I tried my best to find the VCD but the rental shop is still closed, so I called back john, telling him that I cant get the VCD because the shop is still closed and I am going to miss the 12pm ferry to Tekong. I asked him if it is really urgent because i know that Bernard will be making a hell lot of noise if I don't come on time and etc. btw I don't like him. so john asked me to stay and wait for the shop to open and the next ferry is at 1700hrs, which is 5pm. so I said ok and head back home for rest and step out of house at 3 just to rent the VCD.

as soon as I got the VCD, I headed to the ferry terminal, the queue was short but the wait was long. half and hour more to the departure of ferry, the weather is hot too and it made the whole waiting area like oven! UH!!!!!!!!! as the clock slowly ticks, I see many of the people I know came.

when I reach Tekong, I was honestly a little lost because I don't know where is HQ at so I just blindly walk with the crowd. haha... even just by following crowd, it leads me to where my HQ is! so I just put my packs down and I see most of them sleeping and I wonder what have they done the night before but from what I estimate, they have done nothing much, just taking afternoon nap. I have to idol for very long before the happy hour starts and I just have freaking no idea why am I here so early. when dinner came, which is happy hour, well, I can say this is the best happy hour and yet the worst field camp that that i have ever attended. the recruits got to have a taste of happy hour too. 1 even had BBQ, like no govt and no law man! I wonder if anyone bought pork over that night so that he can get freak out.

so after the happy hour is movie marathon, watch hitch and mr deeds, it was real funny but we were like watching it on the wrong place. haha... all the recruits from tekong can see us watching movie! sound so funny lor.... so the next day i am suppose to go for recce with the conducting officer for the 24km route march which is at ECP. sian... I go tekong not even 24 hours.

So next day came and I showed that kinda hack care attitude again, haha, because I really cant be bothered with this so called BMT field camp. left with the recce group at about 12 to ECP to look for a good 24km distance to walk. the journey was long and boring and I took a short nap without anyone noticing it.

after the recce, well, we took a break, we landed up at ECP Mac and had lunch there. hahaha... that was the best meal that i ever had because I don't get a chance to wear army uniform and eat over there in office hours... after that we headed back to camp to rest and prepare all the paper work that needs to be done.

16km route march

2007-09-06T10:07:00.000+08:00

16km route march was so shitty and a piece of hell for me last night. it was supposed to be some chicken feet thing for me but as i long as i walk, the pain from my bladder came. i have no freaking idea why is it hurting, this is my very first time that i felt pain in my bladder area and i was kinda worried that the pain will end my father's day. the pain started from the 4th km till 8th km, the pain was still bearable.

there was a rest point at the 8th km mark and we rested like 15 minutes. i thought that after some rest, i still can walk even though blisters starts coming out from my feet as i have not walk that distance for so long, but i still can walk, just that the pain is what i cant take it.

when its time for us to talk again, i thought that it's gonna be fine and i start walking. less than 100m from where i left, the pain came again and thus causing me to slow down a lot. i was way behind the main troops but i tried hard to catch up. but still i failed.

at the 12km rest point, the pain was unbearable, i drop everything behind my back and pop a cigarette and started smoking. as i smoke, i rested. i left my pack behind and just continue to walk to the end line with 2 of my staff sergeant. they were walking by my side encouraging me and talking crap with me to boost morale.

as i am reaching the finishing line, i started to slow down again and this time it's even more slower! i took my time to finish the walk and i felt very hot, as if there is some energy passing through my body is about to explode and shatter me into pieces.

it took me a while before i did my warm down, had my night snack and return back to my bunk for shower and sleep. have not fall asleep so fast for a very long time already.

===== next day =====

when my alarm clock rang at 7am, i had problem waking up, it took me 20 minutes to open my eyes and sit up right. i felt feverish and weak and both knees are weak. sigh... i wonder if this will happen again. i hope it wont happen anymore....

this feeling sucks to the core!

Army Open House 2007

2007-09-04T11:00:00.000+08:00

it's been a 3 weeks since i last update my blog again. starting from 20th august, i have been specially requested (not being arrowed because my previous boss ask if i am OK to help him out with it.) to help out in the army open house as an ammunition in charge. i agreed without hesitating as he have help me a lot and though there are many rehearsal dates that have made my day boring, i didn't made any complaints because i agreed to help him out.

it was really tiring for practically everyone of us because all of us were so tired with these rehearsal. from dusk till dawn, non stop changing of plans to make the show better. there i made new friends from other units and we had a lot of chatting and fun to kill time during the wait.

me and my partner were supposed to take turns to walk around the open house to look look see see but end up, i walk around for a day and my partner didn't get to. i felt so sorry and don't know to feel guilty or not as i ask my partner to go walk walk, he only walk a little and didn't get much chance to collect badges, whereas i have 5 of them.

i read up 2 books to till time there, "laugh and get rich in any business" and "Murphy's law" these 2 books killed a lot of my boring time. have yet to finish the books as i need time to digest the precious information into my brain.

for all the rehearsal dates, we have been doing the same thing and we starts to get excited on the first day of Army Open House. we can't explain why also... maybe we are counting down in our heart because we are so that tired and restless.

i still remembered that i took a light strike vehicle to cook house for lunch. the was best ride that i ever had because i have never took a light strike before and it felt so cool to be on that vehicle. i wish i can get to see the light strike vehicle driver again as we seems to be able to click. hmmmm.....

on the last day of Army Open House, our meals was KFC for lunch and Mac for dinner instead of SFI cook house. well, its though fattening, but i sure enjoy it because i need lots of energy to carry those heavy ammunition. everyday carry like that, my hands gets tired and my belly starts growing. sigh, need to lose lots of weight man!!! we all parted on our last day, remembering all the good times that we have spent in the training shed; talking cock, singing song, eating and having fun together.

these has be a good experience for me and i will always remember them by name and face. no matter where i am, what i do, distance apart from us, we will always keep in contact.

facing computers and facts

2007-08-14T15:39:00.000+08:00

after i finish my course, it seems like i have nothing much to do like that and it took me some time before i finally got some things to do. when i got back, i am still very lost about where they put the stuff and all and i took me like 3 weeks or so to know where are all these stuff at.

even though i am tasked to do important things, i don't understand why i still got time to come around the Internet and surf the net, seriously don't know why. nowadays in camp is really bored for me as i have a television with a spoil antenna port that i totally cannot watch television at all. sigh... in bunk, i only can listen to the radio and play my audio Cd's which i bought from home.

i really hope i can do something useful in camp as life in camp is really bored even though i have tried to entertain myself with lots of stuff. I'm afraid that I'll get sick of doing these things soon.

all weekends for me is either staying at home playing the game "Emperor, rise of the middle nation" or going out with my besttest buddy, shaq, to wherever he goes.

just yesterday, i planned to stay a little more longer in the army as i have decided to go for part time studies in diploma and degree in business management. I've yet to find out more about other schools but roughly the plan is out. now i just have to wait and execute my plan out. hope things won't screw up for me again.

for the last time

2007-08-01T20:35:00.000+08:00

it will be less than 4 days before all of us will be disband because our course has come to an end. on 1 end, i can't wait to go back but on the other end, i can't bear to leave this camp. as for those past few nights, i visited the mess that everybody loves to go and had a couple of drinks over there. we had fun drinking, chatting and laughing our way through on the last night before we graduate from there. everyone was so wild crazy and they wanted to ordered 154 cans of duty free tiger beer, which taste so disgusting! and there were only like not even 15 drinkers surrounding the table.

the best trainees were announced 1 day before the last day so on the very night, he is suppose to buy us 154 cans of beer but thank goodness there is only like less than 100 cans as everyone of us can't take the liquor anymore because of it's low class taste. the mess was crowded with us, we all acted like some hungry wolf, like never eat food before, placed a lot of orders from the caterer. the mess caterer is already trying very hard to catch up with the orders because every single receipt is practically filled with words. i have to wait for so long because some jerks just don't know what is the basic manners of queuing is. sigh...

before we depart from ASTW, we had groups photos but i don't know why i never receive any... sian 1/2... the feeling of leaving new friends after a short period of time feels kinda shitty. but good thing is that we did kept in contact through msn or friendster or hp. (i wonder how many of the 154 people will read my blog... hahahah)

as the time approach late evening, the bus to amoy quee has come. we boarded a 20 seater bus that i has requested to come to bring us back to camp. the feeling was happy and sad. happy to go back see new recruit and friends, sad to leave my new friends even we knew each others like less than 6 weeks.

i can't wait for a gathering soon... miss those times big time...

Life at work

2007-08-01T20:30:00.000+08:00

after i pass out from ASTW, i was sent back to my parent unit. i miss this home so much... as i walk around the buildings, past memories flash back. still remembering the days of when i was first posted to this place, the new friends that i knew, the kinda "inhuman torture" that i have given to the new soldiers and all... it seems that everything just ended last week and it started all over again on the following week. everything seems to be happening so fast...

when i got back, there were few new faces that i have never seen before... when i got back, it seems like i have forgotten the clerks, the clerks that i have always been chatting with. it took me some time to refresh myself who are they before i started talking and gossiping with them AGAIN. i also notice that i seems to have change into a different person after the course, a more discipline and "on the ball" person. has platoon sergeant course done that to me? i don't feel what i am in the past. i tend to be rebellious and slack before the course. now for what you see in me is a total different me. it is an opposite of what i am in the past. what has happen to me?

something seems to have struck me to work hard. till today i don't know why am i doing so even i have decided to leave the force. but for what i have seen and felt, i felt that its a shame for me to stay in the force because discipline is lagging. even after enforcing, they will be back to square one at the end of the day. its a sad thing that i can say.

i wonder when can i type in something happy... sigh!

2 weeks of non-stop action! wahhh shaq out but felt good!

2007-07-09T03:55:00.000+08:00

it has been a very tiring 2 weeks for me as i have been having outfield for 2 weeks non stop without proper rest, sleep and hydration! outfield after outfield, mission after mission. real tiring... but during those time, i have been performing as a man's appointment and have to take instruction from appointment holders. it feels kinda shit but have no choice but to follow through with the exercise and i have been hoping to get engage into appointment in the first week but i was disappointed. i only got the appointment at the worst time. during the digging exercise, i got an appointment of a MG commander and have to dig a real big trench which can fit 3 person inside, causing half my energy dead after the whole thing was completed.

that was only week ONE!

week TWO was not so bad. after 1 last exercise, we march towards the final exercise, the grand finale! everyone cant wait to get through it as we all have been sick for outfield for so long! sick as in we had enough and need some rest before we can continue but we just have to suck it up as we were just trainees.

when the final exercise came, it seems like i have struck 4D! i got the highest appointment! i somehow felt lucky that i got that appointment at that time because i have plenty of time to prepare lost of stuff! during my presentation of orders, i have good comments from the instructors but at the same time, i got tease by them as well for small minor mistakes which i have been commented "improving but still can be improved!" this line has actually push me to perform to my peak! i have never felt so energetic before! i was so eager to go to tekong! i was filled with tons of excitement! but i know that shit will come later but still, i didn't care much! when mission 1 commence, full of excitement, i did my best! when mission one was over, i was so happy that there were no obstacles hindering my way through during the execution phase! yeah!

total of 4 mission, in mission 2, i had heat cramp! all my fingers were cramp hard by the head. i felt like shit! head spinning like merry-go-round! i was down! had a few hours of nap before i could continue. as soon as i join back, a lot of people have shown concern to me. offering me their water to drink! but i wonder if they have any water for themselves.

as the second last mission hits on everyone, everyone cant wait to move on but during that time, i can sense that everyone's morale is getting very low. everyone cant wait to finish it as it seems a long night! as soon as mission 3 is over, everyone's morale is starting to pick up! suddenly everyone's energy came back from nowhere! all full of energy and prepared to fight for the last mission! i was appointed as a platoon medic! had a stretcher on my back. we crossed a river with our stinky body inside the river, picking up all the loose weeds from the river. and we stink more eventually. in my mind, i thought that i will get abrasion on my inner thigh as the clothes rub against my skin. there will be bound to having difficulties in walking but i was wrong. the weather starts to turn bad, it started to rain. some hate it but i like it as it prevents us from drinking water and save our water and at the same time cool us down. normally, after crossing the river, everyone's morale is very very low because we are all wet, from our head to toe, everyone hates it when their underwear is wet but this time, i can feel that everyone don't give a shit as we all just wanna get through it over and can't wait to finish it. my stretcher was happily collecting water for me to add in more loads.

everyone was so glad that the last mission is over! on the way back to the parade square in tekong, everyone seems to be taking their own sweet time as we don't seems to give a shit to any instructions. haha! so in the end we all got a lecture. we quickly change into new sets of uniforms and had our debrief. as we wait for our ferry back to Singapore, everyone waited impatiently. in the ferry, everyone slept well though it is only for like half and hour ride on the ferry. as our feet touches Singapore, the buses was already waiting for us! we took our time to board the bus and headed home to PLC. we all slept for an hour in the bus. it was a comfortable sleep.

as we reach camp. everyone did their part by cleaning up the outfield stuff. and we booked out at 7pm. though its late, everyone still book out, eager to go home. as the saying goes, HOME SWEET HOME!

Embarking into a new journey

2007-06-24T13:41:00.000+08:00

as my course continue, the amount of time for me to sleep is getting lesser and lesser. the amount of water that i am suppose to drink also cut down tremendously. I'm lacking water in my body and thus, I'm sick now. just the 3rd day alone, i have gotten throat infection and flu. though its not killing me, it is irritating me a lot.

i wonder how long must i sleep to cover back the hours i missed sleeping. my eyes were like popping out and often getting tired easier now in the morning especially. every now and than will keep yawning and yawning a lot.

hope everything is going the right way now for me and hope no one will hinder me my clearing my debts as of now. yesterday i nearly had a quarrel with one of my friend over MLM stuff. where got such good things as find 2 friends to join under me and earn 9k every month? to me its a con because the top people get everything and they will be asking you to bring in more people and their pocket will grow fatter! i don't know if he is new to MLM or what but i hope he wont get cheated.

my prayers to God;

Dear almighty God, full of grace, i really hope my path will be
cleared
from obstacles as of now so that i can clear my debts in time and in
peace!
and i also hope that the weather will be better these
days, the weather can make one fall sick easily and i am
falling
sick already! please please don't make me fall sick. i know you know
that i have
a tough body but that does not means that i have no weak point. please
spare me and everyone a thought. thank you. with my humble heart i pray to
you,
Amen.

i hope after this prayers, everything will be fine and i will be able to lead my normal life again.
btw, i have friends selling customised polo t shirt designs and men's T-shirt. do quote my name and i hope you will have a cheaper price.

Leadership camp

2007-06-17T22:20:00.000+08:00

i was away for course on 2 weeks and i have learn a lot of new things throughout the course. a very fruitful one but it's sad that we have to go on out own ways as the course ended. now i have embark into another level of training, which i think it will be over very fast. i HOPE it will be fast! it will be a 4 week not enough sleep course! damn!

hope i don't have to spend much on "unnecessary" items as i am now very tight on my budget. I'm so tight with my budget till i have to ask help from friends... its just not me... i felt uneasy borrowing from others and now i also have fear lending to others. i wonder when can i finish clearing my debts and have sufficient money to save up?

should i work in restaurants to gain experience?
or should i stay a little longer in the army?

hmmmmm......

should i or should i not? choosing friends carefully

2007-06-16T12:23:00.000+08:00

wilson has agreed to pay me back SGD7000 and SGD1000 every month but he failed. he cut his line shortly after he agreed to pay me that amount. being so proud, he actually hurt my pocket, trust and friendship with him because of the way he treat me. i have endured him a lot but today, i have to let it out. he's really a jerk that only knows how to smoke, play game and NOT FIND A JOB! as he say i want to find a job that will suit me.

why didnt i saw that clearly before i agree to help him? i regretted a lot by helping this jerk! played my money real bad and made me into unnecessory debts. now i have to souce out the money by myself and clear them myself. some kinda friend he is!

but the more important thing is,

should i get back from him by knocking at his door?
should i pity him or not?
should i give him a longer time to pay back?
should i forgive and forget????????

please leave your comments as i am really stuck in a spot.

The stone hurts, but i see my friends giving me first aid!

2007-06-16T12:01:00.000+08:00

*BANG* the stone drop hard on me every month, and this month was the worst! as i was on course now and i still need to buy some stupid stuff. so sad...

i got to know some new friends over there and i was really happy to know them. i hope that even after the course has ended, we will still be able to find time for some outing and hope that all will be able to come. we had lots of fun during the 2 weeks and i have also learn a lot of things even though some of the lessons are really boring and dry.

before the course starts, my unit always like to find trouble with other units at the guard room but after this course, i will do my best to stop this rubbish as of now.

the bills came flooding my mailbox and all were like going to overdue and yet i still cant think of a solution. i was real stress... thanks wilson, you busted me!

A stone was lifted off my mind

2007-05-20T19:24:00.000+08:00

lately i was so stressed up. can say quite bad this time round. 20 more days to next pay day, and i have always been looking for this day to come nearer because of the liabilities. kinda sick to repeat those sickening sad things that how these liabilities got into me. sigh~

just as when it was my darkest hour, (or was it just the beginning?) i manage to find someone to help me that is willing to give me a loan of 260. i was glad to hear. as some of you people already know that my line was disconnected, it was because of due to some reasons which i am just too sad to explain. (but i don't know why did i kept looping back to the sad topic!)

well, anyway, on that night was ranger's friend, Wenlin's birthday. there was a little people but a lot of food! it wasn't the usual me that i could stop eating so soon. my appetite has change! i ate far just too little food and i was bloated! at that point of time, i have not had any gassy drinks yet and i was like so full in my tummy! but all i could remember was that i ate 30 odds otah! that sounds kinda scary but i don't know why i just kept eating them as ranger bought 130 otah for a less than 30 people chalet!!! yup, a birthday celebration less than 30 person! sometimes its good to have your closest friends with you celebrating your birthday but the bad thing is, you better know if your friend can eat a small hump of food or food as high as Fuji mountain! haha there was too many wasted food. kinda sad to throw them away as it is such a waste!

i did not sleep that night, even though i stink. after the BBQ, all of us went for a short fish at the sea with ranger's new date!!! could you believe that he has a new date? I'm really happy for him that he got a new date! hope he will cherish her if they were together. after the fishing session, we all headed back to the chalet and some of us started to watch movies. Rules of Engagement, Final Fantasy 1 & 2 and Hollow man 2 (but halfway because gotta check out!) i have not watch movies for that long and i felt great after that and the best thing, I'm not sleepy or tired!

after we checked out, ranger send the remaining people home. he car seems to be overloaded by itemssss. hahaha... i was really a fun night! i got to destress myself a lot and i am feeling a lot better now! thanks for his invitation over to the chalet or not I'll be rotting and vexing over these matters and will go crazy soon enough! hope every week, someone will ask me out to ECP or changi beach to view the quiet sea. it somehow makes me felt easy and at ease. i felt peace at the very moment when i sat down on the rocks, watching the waves hitting against the rock gently. all my worries was forgotten by the peaceful silent night. i was really an enjoyable day!

The barks of dogs

2007-05-13T01:59:00.000+08:00

Today my sister was so eager to get out of the house to go to Pasir Ris Pet farm to adopt a dog but just that she could not take back the dog because the owner said that she has to go through some training, communication and playtime with the dog.

We walk through the pet farm. It was big, more like half a soccer field that size and there were full of cats and dogs. So many kind of different breed, my sister still insist of wanting to get multist (was it spelt like that?) when i wanted something else but just too bad that the dog was not for adoption as it is house at the farm just for recovery.

We started touring in the dog section first. I saw quite a number of dogs that I like but I knew that I have no time for them. Some were so big and huggable and i somehow have an urge to open the cage, go in and give them a hug.

After touring in the dog section, we headed to see cats. They were so sleepy! I even saw a few garfield cats as well. They were real FAT! I even saw a poor cat with 3 legs. Its such a poor thing for the cat that it lost a front limb.

It was really a meaningful experience for me as I have never been to a farm before! I should try to find time to communicate more with dogs!

Friday the 13

2007-04-27T21:11:00.000+08:00

As i always thought that Friday the 13th is always a very bad day but i was wrong. Everyday seems to be Friday the 13th to me. Everyday is just another stress day for me, the ending worry germs seems to have extend their stay in me and i felt so terrible everyday. Everyday, i am only looking forward to my payday to clear my debts...

can someone help me answer my questions:

why my life is so unlucky that i kept getting cheated?
why and how did i get myself into financial problems?
why am i living in a world of debts?
will i be debt free this life?
when will i break even?
why and how come i always bump into cunning and selfish people?
why is my life like this?
which wrong step did i took?
will my life be better in another 6 months time?
was it wrong to be a good man?
when will i be rich?
will i be rich in this life?
when will this hardship be over?
will someone help me to get over this hard period?
when will money drop from sky?
will luck be with me?

my 2007 wish now:

good luck will stands by me till the rest of my life!
meet people that will give me a helping hand when i am in need!
turn my back against the people that have cheated and done harm in my life!
money will drop from sky!
break even all debts before August 2007!
collect back all my borrowed money!
may bad luck fall on those who cheated and harm me!
get rich, fit, slim and sexy!

seems like that's all what i want for now... don't worry, I'm not greedy as every year i have different wish... (which is which? wishes came true or its just facts???)

(Akon - Lonely) & (Nitty - Nasty Girl)

2007-04-16T08:27:00.002+08:00

my friends are all gone to SISPEC and I'm left alone in the unit. the new specialist are in already and I'm not so close to them yet. i miss those days of me being with my buddy but lately he seems to be hostile? or rather ignoring me. he knows that i was in needs of financial help as Wilson's business has flop and me and Wilson are now working hard to pay off the debts. when i ask for his help, he actually turn his back against me by not replying. he gave me a cold shoulder that we just met and knew each other. he gave me a kind of feelings like "your problem is your problem and don't share your problem with me" kind of attitude.

i was feeling quite sad after that incident... i wonder how many real friends of mine are there that really are considered true friends... but for sure i do have a good true friend, his nick is Garfield... has been friends since i was 15 and in a blink of time, we have been friends for 9 long years! though we do quarrel at times because of disagreement, we still know what is the other party thinking as well. he is the only one that is with me during my very bad times...

hai....... payment of bills after bills... so sick of it. i have long to have a debt free life but i was wrong. i just got deeper into debts... i wish i can clear TCC bank loan asap because i am just left with 500 before i can pay other bill with a problem lesser. i have tried to find some part time jobs but i have not been lucky lately. i don't know why... i seems so frustrated with those reminder bills. i wish that i can get a loan from someone that is kind enough to lend me a big some of money to clear all my outstanding debts and slowly pay him/her back monthly. i need a rough total of about SGD$2000 for everything that has an outstanding. i wish that this dream will come true...

well, of course not from loan sharks or banks but friends who don't mind lending it to me and allow me to pay back monthly. i will really be grateful to that person if there is one person that really exist in my friend list.

i have never like borrowing from friends because they will give me all kind of face expression and will remember that they have once helped me and demand help when they needed one. unless i am really in a dead end with nowhere to go. hope things will turn out better soon or later. it seems like i only have a friend in this world...

lazy, tired, forgetful, full of excuses and most of all regretful

2007-04-16T08:27:00.001+08:00

As i have promised to continue my blog on the first day of chinese new year, till now i have been lazy enough to write my blog. i feel so lazy, felt uneasy to describe myself over the blog. i got this strange feeling... it somehow hold me back from coming back to this site to update my sua_ku's blog...

but at times i do want to tell others my feeling but i just can't find the right person... the person that will give me the ultimate solution to my problems that i am facing now. now, i'm still strong enough to take this crisis but i am not sure how long can i hold on to it. i hope that there will be a solution for me fast, and its real fast. i can see that my bills are piling up and my monthly pay is not enough for me now. in fact, i am still shortage... hopefully things will change after i got the money that govt is giving away to the citizen.

i really wish that the day of my debts will come soon because i will than have money to start saving for my future. i really regret for not saving at all when i was at a younger age. i'm turning 24 this year and i have no saving.

shame on myself!

Is this so lifeless?

2007-03-09T22:26:00.000+08:00

Here I was in camp again opening my armskote. I seem to be mentally tired and I really need to unwind myself badly. Anything that does not concern work is unwinding, be it sleeping or playing games but I just don’t know why I just can’t stop working in front of the computer. Am I such workaholic?

Armskote and Admin

2007-03-09T21:51:00.000+08:00

As planned, today I have to open armskote and I was late for flag rising. After flag rising, I had a buffet breakfast in the cookhouse. Though food wasn’t really that nice, at least I get to fill my tummy to full because on other days, we were only allowed one serving and the auntie will say “later not enough; cannot take already.”

Today is the second day that Zaini was sent to detention. As I can see from the men that I once lead, the mood of everyone is uncommon; the past cheerful and noisy men were quiet today. The man book out after lunch today and I still have to stay in camp to open armskote to allow the guards to send in their weapons. After closing my armskote, I tried to finish my unfinished matters, typing out the blog that I have not been doing. I even planned what’s for tomorrow’s PT in camp.

COS and Armskote

2007-03-09T21:46:00.000+08:00

This morning was my turn to open Armskote and let the guards draw arms. I have to open the armskote 4 times a day, so irritating and boring at the same time. I took over COS from Terrance. This is his last duty before he ORD. I took over as early as 0700 hrs because Zaini, my 84 section man was charge with possession of live ammunition. The trail started since 0900 hrs and ended around 1900 hrs or later. I was not at the scene, I couldn’t get a very clear picture of what exactly is happening but all I know was, Zaini was panic and has forgotten most of the things that he is suppose to say.

There were tears rolling down from Zaini’s family and even some of my men teared as well because it was really a sad case. I won’t know if I can hold my tears if I am there with them, all I can say are the crying atmosphere was presence. Everyone carries a sad and moody face for the rest of the day.

Meantime while the trail was happening, I have been doing housekeeping for paper works and I notice that things were very messy. I had a hard time clearing up these stuffs and shredding away restricted documents.

During dinner time, I was asked to gather some man by my RSM to clean the canteen because the Army RSM is coming to our tear down camp for breakfast tomorrow! I was thinking why must he come and have breakfast here? This place is so tear down and had to maintain cleanliness. I manage to gather a few man and we swept the canteen together. On our way back, the Battalion Orderly Sergeant, my BMT buddy, told me that the Army RSM is not coming tomorrow but on the 12^th instead. Upon hearing that, we could see the ‘huh’ expression coming from our face. Well, my RSM saw the date wrongly. What to do, what’s done is done but what I can say is that he is grateful for the help offered.

Early bird are always rewarded with good things

2007-03-09T21:28:00.000+08:00

Today is the start of Protection Of Installation. As early as 0300 hrs, my vehicle to rifle range camp has already reported. We left at around 0320 hrs or so. The expressway was so quiet! Not much cars traveling on the road. We were too early as planned but we wasted a lot of time waiting for the duty personnel to wake up ad send us into the ammo dump to collect the bloody rounds. the road was dark pitch because all the lamp post were spoilt!

After i collected the rounds, i headed to CIA (Changi International Airport). No matter how slow the driver drive, i still reach early... there and than i saw the most horrifying thing! The sentry looking after the police station was actually taking a nap! I wanted to be nasty and ask my escort, saravanan, to ask him if he had a sweet dream just now, that was just NATO, (No Action, Talk Only).

Soon, the troop lift bus arrived and they started to march in to the sleepy, no govt police station at Changi Airport. Their first duties starts at 0800 hours... After i send in the ammo, i headed back to camp and had lunch with ranger and again, i do my favourite pastime, SLEEP!

Prepare to slack

2007-03-09T21:25:00.001+08:00

Monday blues, a boring day, that’s all I can say. No mood to work because Joshua and I knew that it’s the end of month and in another 6 days time, 3 of our friends are going to ORD and leaving the 2 of us with the Duty Sergeant everyday. We have been trying to push all duties to the 3 of our friends because we wanted to make use of them before 2 of us regret. (That’s how evil I am) HAHAHA!!!

ITE gathering

2007-03-09T21:24:00.000+08:00

It has been a very long time since I have last met my ITE friends out for dinner and chat. I met up with 2 at Safra Tampines before meeting the rest. We were supposed to have dinner at Safra Tampines ‘Sakura’ but they were under renovation so we have to change our plans. We headed to Tampines mall to have a buffet instead. After dining and catching up, I realized that they were not leading the life they wanted to have. It's really sad to see what my friend fail to achieve their dreams...

IPPT and FFI

2007-03-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

I came back after ORD dinner for a night just to take part in IPPT the next day but heaven was not by my side. It started to rain before the warm up and everything was delayed. Half the mood of taking part in IPPT has already faded away. But I still hope that the rain will stop soon but it got worst after that. At 1000 hrs, the conducting officer cancelled the run. I head back to bunk and sleep. I was supposed to go to Singapore Safety Driving Centre with Fahmy to book for a basic theory test but I was too lazy and decided to book it on Monday night instead. I fast asleep and woke up at 1500 hrs.

I was bored that time and I called Ranger and chat with him over SMS and we agree to meet up and have movie and dinner together at vivo city. I went to Yishun area, near where he stays and had a light dinner before meeting him for a heavy dinner.

He came down buying dinner for his mum. We soon left after I finish the carrot cake that I ordered just now and followed him up his house. After delivering food to his mum, we headed to Vivo city, wanting to watch “Mahjong Kong Fu” but Vivo was not showing, “Apocalypto” was selling fast and left with first row seats. We decided to watch something else. We watch “Gridiron gang” in the end, a show with the lead actor ‘The Rock’ and his American football team. A very touching true story that every happen in the world. After that we went to Change village to have a light supper before he send me home.

ORD Dinner @ Hilltop Restaurant

2007-03-09T21:19:00.001+08:00

Today is not just another wedding dinner or get-together dinner but an ORD dinner. It was my first time attending an ORD dinner and I was quite excited about it. I met up with Fahmy at Tampines bus interchange and have a light lunch and we headed to Yishun to meet up with Ranger as he is driving us there. We were ahead of schedule when we reach Yishun. Ranger made his way to fetch us.

We were way too early and I brought Ranger along to the estate I use to stay in the past. After that he parks his car in west mall and we had high tea at food court. After that we left west mall to look for the Hilltop Country Club by foot. We soon spotted that place and head back to west mall to collect Ranger’s car and proceed to Hilltop CC.

As soon as we park the car in Hilltop Country Club, we head straight to the ball room. The Country Club was well renovated and I like the designs of it. It really made me feel like I’m really on top of a hill top but just too sad to say that the buildings are taller than the Country Club. It was windy and the toilet was constructed in such a way that it is open to air outside. I saw Chua at the reception issuing the door gift, a cash card and an Ez-link card. We walk around the Country Club to kill some time. Soon it was time to be seated and the ball room still looks very empty, for a few minutes, and men of my Battalion starts to flock in slowly.

We were entertained by some “Bapok” which we all really love it. It was really a fun night as they made the volunteers do something that is really shameful; they really made our ORD Dinner night a real great one!

ORD parade and off

2007-03-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

Today is the day where everyone is waiting for. Early in the morning I open the armskote, and I also have another appointment as usher. I have not gone for any briefing and have no idea what am I suppose to do. Later around 0700 hrs, I receive a call from Signal PS that the In-charge is looking for the entire usher from all the company and wanted us to meet him at the mess. I and Ranger were appointed to be the usher. We went to the mess and had a fast game of pool before we met up with the In-charge. We were told to stop any parents who tried to cross the line just to take pictures.

As the parade starts, mistakes starts to pop out, they were nervous, maybe… Or was it not their day? After the parade, they can fall out and head home with their loved ones. Life is more like a storybook. A storybook that does not tell the future but the past, the happiness, the sadness and the good and bad memories.

After the parade, I and Ranger stayed in camp to rot. Ranger has said ok to Fahmy that he will go dink at colour zone on that day itself so that’s why we stayed in camp till late evening. Meantime during the afternoon, there is a shoot at the 25 meter range and I was arrowed to be the safety specialist for the NCC cadets, they were only like 15 or 16 years old. Stress level was high for me because it was their first time and worst still; their individual field craft is as bad as a newbie. Don’t knowing how to aim well for some, weapon jam and some tumble. I have to rectify for them. They were funny students and did not give much problem. Later in the night I went to drink with Ranger and Fahmy. I even ask Shaq along. After colour zone, I went home for a night rest.

Rehearsal on ORD parade

2007-03-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

The whole day, the parade square was filled with soldiers marching up and down, left and right. For me, I got nothing much to do, so I just lie around until afternoon, than I was told to have a timed run by one of the officer to see how he can help me in 2.4km run. That was my biggest problem. It was quite hard for me to finish the last 800 meters because I took around 10 minutes of my time; my officer gave up also because he knew I am in pain. I had a bit of breathing difficulty and he can see that I did not give up. He did not press me on to continue to run.

At night I went to Jalan Kayu with Ranger and Fahmy again to have some prata to fill ourselves. Soon after we head back to camp and have a good night rest for tomorrow’s parade.

COS Part 2

2007-03-09T21:12:00.000+08:00

After 2359 hrs, I did the most shameless thing in my life, I actually ask Ranger to sneak out of camp with me and head to Jalan Kayu and tabao prata! I can’t believe my own action. But it was really fun. After I had my prata, I went to sleep in the air condition office till 0545 hrs to wake up just to raise flag.

After my flag rising, I had my breakfast and as usual, first parade and area cleaning but after these, the man have foot drill lesson for their upcoming ORD parade. Marching in the sun was never fun because it sucks. After dinner, I met up with Wilson for another business discussion on manicure and pedicure. We have a working engine and we now have to start the engine and it is a very difficult process because the engine parts and function and skill are very foreign to the two of us. We had a hard time trying to understand the engine so that we, the spare parts, can help to run the engine more smoothly.

Hope that this engine will help me gain a good positive business experience.

COS again, clear extra

2007-01-21T19:09:00.000+08:00

This is my number 7th extra duty that I have done and I am still having 7 more to go. Still a lot, but I’m still doing good. Till now I am still wondering why I couldn’t sleep well last night, is it because of some flies that flew from the drainage and stared sucking my blood? I can feel that there is only 1 of them and just one of this blood sucking machine have made mi unable to sleep for the first time. I was really sleepy that time and this fly just kept sucking blood from my feet! I scratch my leg from 0300 hrs till 0600 hrs. I know the time because I kept looking at the time. I have never felt so irritated before. As the sun starts to rise, I drag my heavy body to the toilet to wash my blankets, pillow case and clothes that are all dirty and waiting for me to wash.

Everything was done before lunch and as I always said, weekend duties were the best duty that I will love to do because no one will ever come and disturb me. Lunch wasn’t really that delicious as long as I think of the carrot cake. Ranger said that he will come back to camp to company me but didn’t tell me what time he will be back. I am so bored in the big building, as though I’m a security guard, guarding this building and even security guards works in pair but I’m alone. Nobody to chat with.

I have a number of things to do by tomorrow. As my bloody camp pass has expired last month, I got to make one new one ASAP before I got into anything with security issues. As I have nothing much to do during a weekend duty, I have finally sat down and think of what I really want to achieve in the year 2007 and why.

Revolution of 2007
1. Stop smoking
To save more money for better use.
To improve my health.
My mum doesn’t like it.

2. Save money and cut down on unnecessary entertainment
Once I have cut down smoking, most of the money issues will be settled.
Spend lesser on fast food.
Getting old enough to be a father, its time I settle down, so I will need money for my wedding.

3. Slim down and get fitter to look more better
To keep away all kind of funny sickness like flu.
To have the idea body I have always dream of.
I don’t really look good with my tummy popping out and also with a double chin which make things worst.

4. Start to study for basic theory again
I can’t wait to pass my basic theory; I just have no idea why I can’t pass.
I want to have a class 3 driving license before I leave the army so that I can use it soon.

5. Debt free life
I want to make money work for me and not work for money.
To keep my mind free from stress, need not stress about money issues but just need to stress how am I going to spend the money that I have just earn.

6. Learn how to manage things better, anything will do
I wasn’t really good in managing things in a short time but good for a long run; I want to learn how to manage things fast, effective, error free and second to none.

7. Learn something new this year
Acquiring a new skill is what I always wanted to do but I will prefer to learn cooking and plumbing first. Either way will do.

8. Find time to start cutting and cooking food
I must start practicing before I get myself enrolled into shatec.

9. Get a new computer
My computer has been with me since I was in secondary 3, really time to change one.

10. Get back what I lost
Whatever I have lost, be it love or money I want them all back and I’m still thinking how to.

These will be the goal of 2007 that I wish to fulfill. There are more than 10 in fact but this are the top ten that I will want to achieve first as these are the most difficult things to achieve! Till than, I'll tell ya what happen to sua_ku at night tomorrow.

Sleeper’s day 2

2007-01-20T19:09:00.000+08:00

I woke up early this morning because of the war that has been going thru my tummy, I can feel that they are fighting hard and there are a lot of casualties that needs me to bring them out. I went to the toilet and sat on the bowl to let the casualties out. Feeling relief, I washed up and look at the time. Close to 0900 hrs and Wilson is still in bed. I just send him a short SMS and he popped out of his bed; he came out with the very blur look and look at the time. He knew he is going to be late. He dialed for a cab and quickly gets changed up. We left his house together and he headed for his taxi and I headed for the bus stop, board the bus and waited to be at Tampines.

I bought carrot cakes for myself and my sister who has been begging me to buy breakfast for her. Business for the seller selling carrot cakes seems to be very good every time. There will be a small queue waiting to place order. He packs and his wife cook. I realize something about this uncle selling carrot cake, he sounds polite and friendly towards his customers who patronize his store, even those who didn’t buy anything from him, he did not give a black face or so, he just smiled. I have to admit that the carrot cake was tasty buy just that the portion was quite small. I somehow was addicted to eat carrot cakes from him. I still remembered that I was waiting for mine when he suddenly ask the people behind me not to queue because he felt embarrass about it and even ask his customers to sit down and wait instead of standing. Where on earth can we still find such good and friendly seller? Talking about his carrot cakes can make me drool even after lunch, if you are interested, tell me and I’ll be glad to bring you to eat but you have to bear with the small little queue.

I rush my way home, couldn’t wait to taste the hot, a little spicy carrot cake. As soon as I reach home, I couldn’t hold anymore. As I open the packet, the nice aroma filled the kitchen. I slowly finish the carrot cake, after that I fall on my comfortable bed and into my lala land again.

I woke up at 2000 hrs, couldn’t believe that I actually slept so long in the day. Feeling hungry, I headed to the kitchen and look into the wok for any food. There are rice, eggs with dark Soya sauce, soup and half a fish. I ate nearly everything till I’m filled, rot for a while and headed back to camp for a night rest.

Life run at Bishan

2007-01-19T19:08:00.000+08:00

I was sleeping very soundly until I receive a lot of calls asking stupid questions, irritating me to the core. Still having hang over, I was told to open the armskote to let guard duty send in their weapons. Before I made my way down, I headed to the toilet to vomit out whatever it is coming out from my stomach. This is the first time I open armskote so late and in such bad state. Some of the man could even smell the alcohol coming out from me. They started drawing arms at around 0830 hrs and finally ended at around 0900 hrs and I was doing the remaining paperwork. When I’m done with the paper work, I thought I could rest for a little longer but hell no, CSM said that they are good enough and can send arms. I had to ask Ferhan, my new armskote man, to help me supervise the returning of arms and also chaining and locking up of the rifles.

Once everything was done, I locked up the armskote and headed back to bunk to catch some sleep, I slept through lunch. Woke up around 1400 hrs because of Terrance’s call, telling me that it’s time to come down the vehicle is on its way now. Still feeling hang over, I quickly made my way down to close the armskote. I waited for quite some time before the Duty Officer turns up. After closing the armskote, I quickly made my way up to pack my stuff. Stomach still grumbling because of hunger, I endured the hunger and quickly made my way down to the vehicle.

There was a 100% check for incoming and outgoing personnel or vehicle. We had our bags checked no matter how hard my officer tried to push it away because we were running late. It took quite a while before everything ended and we are now on our way to Bishan Park for a run. The journey was short, the weather was bad, the logistic forgot to bring ice and the water was not drinkable. We can just complain to ourselves and suck thumb. Soon we had our warm ups and started the run. I was with Fahmy and we were the walking party. We walked a total of 3km before the run was cancelled because of bad weather. We soon headed to our company’s assembly area and had a short debrief and soon after, we were dismiss and made our own respective way home. I met up with Ah Wee, Fahmy and Yuan jie for dinner. Ranger was heading back to camp because his car is parked in camp.

The 4 of us headed to a nearby beer garden to have dinner. The food was good but was quite expensive, maybe it’s because of the portion that they cook was not worth it and that’s why it cost around $5 for a plate of mee goreng. It was really tasty but I had my fill, if not I would have ordered more because it is so tasty. Ah wee than send us to Seng Kang to let us catch a bus back, but instead we took a cab as we were too tired. So tired, I don’t feel like going out, after a hot shower, I was about to rest when Wilson ask me over because something bad has happen to his circle of life. I don’t wish to talk much about this issue as it really is a sad thing. I accompanied him for a drink, see him up to his house and played mahjong with him. He seems better after telling me the pain that he felt. I stayed overnight at his place.

Happy hour at mess and round 2 at colour zone with 2 CSM

2007-01-18T19:08:00.000+08:00

Nothing fun has happened in the day but quite a number of anger with my man. They went breakfast without me; I was so irritated with that matter because I can get scolding for that. Nothing much to do the whole day, I didn’t exercise and roam around like a dead man, having no idea what to do, I just waited for 1800 hrs patiently just to drink and get drunk because of someone that I like.

The party started as usual, had a small talk and had food and beer after that. There were 2 ladies invited to help us host the event but end up is we are the one entertaining ourselves. we had BINGO for that night, everyone was issued with a sip of paper with different numbers in it and there are 3 prices to be won, and I was lucky enough to win the 1st price, $40 Book voucher, 2nd price, Food voucher but no idea how much and 3rd price is a bottle of 1L DFS Vodka Absolute! After the games, it was free and easy and all started to leave the mess and go back to their own bunks to rot.

Happy hour is supposed to be happy where everyone will drink till drop. This happy hour wasn't really as happy as when my 1st year friends of army are still around. everyone know each other and we were closer, Ranger told me that this happy hour has a lie drawn between regular spec and NSF spec, and it was quite a clear cut about that as when I just give a glance to everywhere, its all like that. NSF will stick to NSF and didn't really communicate with the regular much. I miss those times of happy hour with my old friends a lot.

I sat down with Raja and Sean, my outgoing and incoming CSM respectively, Danson, Ranger, Terrance and Victor and started drinking and chatting away again. I have never misbehaved myself when I am drunk or rather feel tipsy. In fact, I have never got so drunk before, I told everyone that I wanted to get drunk tonight but I failed. Ranger's face was as red as a red apple; everyone was quite worried about him. Some even tease him; even shake his head to make him feel more terrible. Being evil, I just sit there and laugh at him. Feeling terrible, he made his own way back to bunk.

The rest of us, including Jacques, headed down to colour zone to freak Fahmy and Ah Wee out of their wits. When we open the door of the pub, the 2 store man of mind was shock to see all of us but later start drinking with us; we were also surprise to see the 2 girls from our unit to be there too. I told Fahmy that I wanted to get drunk tonight and all he said was ok. I tried to drink as many as I could but I just don’t feel high enough and in fact I am getting more awake instead. Soon I got bored and sat there and stone, I walked over to Weiling and played “wu gui wu gui tiao” to entertain myself. All I know is she kept losing and I just kept laughing at her. We left nearly at 3am, all waiting to head home. Jacques refuses to pick up any passenger because of the last vomiting case, so we all took a cab back to camp to rest for tomorrow.

Good things always come to an end, same goes to my off

2007-01-17T19:07:00.000+08:00

It’s the start of a working day and I can see that a lot of us are very reluctant to work because of the “nua” germs that have infected all workers badly. Normally, we are having the Monday’s blue but we are all having a Wednesday’s blue. Very funny but it’s really true! My land rover that is going to ammo dump will be coming at 0800 hrs by right but administration has surfaced problems, I have waited for quite a long time before the stupid slow tortoise appeared right in front of me, driving at a speed of 50 km/h. I can die with this speed, and it takes about 1 hour or so to reach the ammo dump. I wanted to catch some sleep so I ask Ranger to sit in front and I could catch some sleep behind.

Wanting to sleep, I just can’t get to sleep because of the cooling wind that is blowing hard at my face, it just make me more awake instead of being sleepy. Goodness!! Things have not turn out the way I wanted and I was a walking zombie again when I reached the ammo dump, having fear that the ammo dump staff can smell the alcohol coming out from my body. To and fro took about 2 hours or so and this 2 hour is really a long 2 hour because it is so temping to sleep. Soon I reach camp and after setting up the most stupid thing called ammo point, it seems that I am confined to that small place till the whole exercise ended.

The scotching heat has been shining on me and I kept trying to avoid it because I will be dehydrated if I stayed under the sun for too long. I soon manage to hide away from the sun and because it is so cooling and windy, I start to feel sleepy and slowly I fall flat on the table and soon fast asleep. I felt that I have slept quite long and that very sleep was a very sweet sleep. I return ammo and when I came back, it is around 1700 hrs or 1800 hrs already. Still having briefing for tomorrow’s training at 1745 hrs, it ended quite late and I’m just too lazy to head out, I went back to bunk, lie on my bed and sleep again.

I now realize that I really can sleep a lot…

STM Day

2007-01-16T19:05:00.000+08:00

What the heck have I done on this very day? Not much memory of what I have done on this day but all I remembered was I receive a call from my OPS SGT saying that I will be the ammunition in-charge for tomorrow’s training! I was really shock to hear that because my CSM did not inform me and yet it was my OPS SGT who informed me. I clarified with my CSM and prepare the necessary items over the phone, especially papers, I even ask ranger to tag along with me. I was at colour zone once again. Fahmy drag me there again and also at the same time, to look for someone. Don’t really wish to think much on it, let alone asking me to type it out. It just made me feel quite sad, that’s all. It is nearly 6am when I reach camp. Again I sleep like a dead log.

Sleeper’s days

2007-01-16T15:49:00.000+08:00

Once I reach home after my duty, I realize that I didn’t sweat at all as I was in air con bus all the way. Once I hit my bed, I fall asleep till late again as usual. Waking up around 1900 hrs or so, I start to have my dinner and thereafter stone for a while.

Not long later, Ranger called up and asked me out for coffee. I agreed and changed and wait for his call. Dressed in long sleeve shirt, jeans and shoe, fearing the cold wind, I stood at the “NO PARKING” car park zone for him to pick me up. He arrived shortly after we hang up. We went to changi village just to have a cup of coffee for me and a glass of ice Milo for him. We brought a bottle of green tea and headed to the beach to let the sea breeze hit against our face. He bought some snacks that he brought from Malaysia and of course I remember to bring my K5 mp3 player as well. We sat down and talk about life and marriage.

We headed home before midnight strikes and fall back to the dwelling place of my bed again.

Security Guard

2007-01-16T15:41:00.000+08:00

Doing guard duty in camp was never fun. Get to encounter a lot of angry things and times of pissed off only. This 24 hour is the longest day of my life. I couldn’t wait to hand over the duty to the RP after I ordered the man to do area cleaning.

Forgotten

2007-01-16T13:36:00.000+08:00

It was a day that I have forgotten what I have done... dead tired even after long hours of sleep. All I remember was I met up with Wilson and his friend, sat down at McDonald and talk till 1900hrs or so and headed to ghoby ghaut to sign my insurance. After that I return back to camp because I will be on duty the next day. I bought a big bottle of green tea back to share with Ranger. I showed him some poker tricks video and he looked very amazed after viewing it.

After the video, the office was back to its quietness, I began to do the most stupidest and shameless things that I only did in Kbox! As I sign, my hands started to follow the actions of the lyrics. By doing that, I didn’t realize that Ranger was recording it! He showed me after I was done. Instead of asking him to delete, I did the most stupid thing again, I ask him to re-record again because I think it was not as good as what I have thought. Thick skin enough, I performed in front of his camera phone again.

Now Ranger was a threat to me. He threatens me jokingly asking if he should post this up to friendster or youtube. I was shock to hear that. Feeling afraid now, I only have to adhere to what he wants me to perform. What a shame… We soon ended the acting and all and fall asleep on the bed in office.