I have been working hard like mad dog... working non stop, at work and home. every time when i hit my room, i hit the computer. it was like a need to it, like i need to use the computer and it became a habit. i think God was real angry with me, why? because i didn't spend much time with Him or rather anytime with Him AT ALL!!! i kept saying "Oh God, i'm tired, i promise i will pray tomorrow" but to my horror, the tomorrow never came. until Sunday after service, i head home. as usual, i switch on my computer but i couldn't use my computer because an important was missing!
i was like "God why this happen at this time? i have not backup my stuff!!!" than i was prompted that i broke all the promises that i made, you need to spend time reading the Word and praying and doing the things that you have visualised! down in my heart, i was sinful. i repented on the spot. to me, i felt that the Lord tested my determination. my choice was to fix my computer myself? or seek Him first? definately i seek Him first.
Finally today, i read his Word, prayed for my brother, Derek, as he sits for his 'O' level exam today at 1430hrs today. later on in the late evening, i finally pick up my running gears and change to it and went for a 4.8km run by myself. i wasnt really me to do such things but because i signed up the StandChart Run in dec, i got to train real hard! 42.159km!!!
i drafted out a to do list, now it was stuck in my computer because it crashed. now i got to force myself to remember what is my to do list, so that it will be drilled down into my head and be remembered off hand. i also have a list of things to read... books that i have bought have yet to be touched.
Patrick Aaron Seng!!! you have been PROCRASTINATING over a long time!!! Give up procrastinating and get a life, FREAK!!!
MAKE THINGS HAPPEN! That's what the specialist core have taught you! Disgrace to the core! Why do you have problem overcoming it? Because you are just darn lazy!
You need to kick this HABIT of yours to be a stronger and better person. Kick the procrastinating habit before you got kick in your butt.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
8 days of activity...
Waoh! these 8 days of activities were sure fun, but at times boring. =(
Day 1,
Friday, the day of extraction of my tooth.
Day 2,
Saturday cell group meeting. the Word was good! didn't sang out with all my heart. kinda sad to say that. didn't do anything much on sat. =)
Day 3,
Sunday service at Jurong West. I sang my heart out to the Lord despite the little stiffness i had at my jaw area. as i sing out with my heart, i actually feel my gums vibrating. oooo... and when during worship, i spoke to the Lord that it will be good that i can open up my mouth to sing praises to you and healing will take place as i sing praises to you and worship you. miraculously, my the grace of God, i was receiving the healing power straight from Heaven! Waoh and amazingly! Sad to say, i got a minor cut in my tongue, so i can't take spicy food because the sweetest chili is killing me. it was like rubbing salt on wound.
Day 4 to 8,
Monday i went back to camp to endorse my medical cert. slept till like 10 before i dilly dally and wash up and head back to camp. mouth was still a little hurtful, can feel the "lobang" in it. I waited till dinner time because i don't wanna spend a cent eating out. hahaha. So Tuesday i was at home all the way till Friday, never go out for very long, except for a few nights where i went over to listen to some interesting presentation, and got myself some complimentary gift. hmmm... blessings after blessings! wonderful! Praise the Lord!
I have been leeching out sermons from festival of praise day 1 sermon. through the audio, i have been hearing and hearing and extracting the word and painting up the whole sermon word by word because personally i think that hearing is not enough, we need to constantly see it so that it will be driven down into our hearts. i finally complete it on Friday, was so excited about it. 95% of what Pastor Mark Conner was in the notes. through the extracting out of the words, i somehow have remembered the 4 points deeply into my heart. i pray that these 4 points will always be with me wherever i go and to teach those who needs them as well. =)
On and off, i have been looking for part time job, and i was thinking about my full marathon as well. have not trained since the day i said i wanted to train. so I'm thinking of getting a part time flyer distributor, running around in blocks, putting them door to door or from letterbox to letterbox, as to train my stamina from climbing non-stop, need to sweat a lot out just to keep fit! =) sometimes i think I'm overdoing it but i have been procrastinating for too long. =(
MC has ended just like that. so the sad...
So as my week goes on, Sat attended cell group meeting again. message was really great! God is indeed my provider! He really provides me with all my needs when i pass the test that He tests on me. Praise the Lord! Even though God did not provide my needs, i am still going to believe Him. As Christians, we must have the faith of what the Hebrew’s children have!
It is stated somewhere from the Bible, but i don't know where; that they were facing the fiery furnace and they said this;
“God is ABLE to deliver us from the fire, He WILL deliver us from the fire, but even if not, we’re still going to trust Him.”
That’s what i call great faith!
So
Sunday service. God i can't wait! i feel something impactful for me. i don't know what was it, but I'm waiting with a heart of expecting the unexpected. =)
Day 1,
Friday, the day of extraction of my tooth.
Day 2,
Saturday cell group meeting. the Word was good! didn't sang out with all my heart. kinda sad to say that. didn't do anything much on sat. =)
Day 3,
Sunday service at Jurong West. I sang my heart out to the Lord despite the little stiffness i had at my jaw area. as i sing out with my heart, i actually feel my gums vibrating. oooo... and when during worship, i spoke to the Lord that it will be good that i can open up my mouth to sing praises to you and healing will take place as i sing praises to you and worship you. miraculously, my the grace of God, i was receiving the healing power straight from Heaven! Waoh and amazingly! Sad to say, i got a minor cut in my tongue, so i can't take spicy food because the sweetest chili is killing me. it was like rubbing salt on wound.
Day 4 to 8,
Monday i went back to camp to endorse my medical cert. slept till like 10 before i dilly dally and wash up and head back to camp. mouth was still a little hurtful, can feel the "lobang" in it. I waited till dinner time because i don't wanna spend a cent eating out. hahaha. So Tuesday i was at home all the way till Friday, never go out for very long, except for a few nights where i went over to listen to some interesting presentation, and got myself some complimentary gift. hmmm... blessings after blessings! wonderful! Praise the Lord!
I have been leeching out sermons from festival of praise day 1 sermon. through the audio, i have been hearing and hearing and extracting the word and painting up the whole sermon word by word because personally i think that hearing is not enough, we need to constantly see it so that it will be driven down into our hearts. i finally complete it on Friday, was so excited about it. 95% of what Pastor Mark Conner was in the notes. through the extracting out of the words, i somehow have remembered the 4 points deeply into my heart. i pray that these 4 points will always be with me wherever i go and to teach those who needs them as well. =)
On and off, i have been looking for part time job, and i was thinking about my full marathon as well. have not trained since the day i said i wanted to train. so I'm thinking of getting a part time flyer distributor, running around in blocks, putting them door to door or from letterbox to letterbox, as to train my stamina from climbing non-stop, need to sweat a lot out just to keep fit! =) sometimes i think I'm overdoing it but i have been procrastinating for too long. =(
MC has ended just like that. so the sad...
So as my week goes on, Sat attended cell group meeting again. message was really great! God is indeed my provider! He really provides me with all my needs when i pass the test that He tests on me. Praise the Lord! Even though God did not provide my needs, i am still going to believe Him. As Christians, we must have the faith of what the Hebrew’s children have!
It is stated somewhere from the Bible, but i don't know where; that they were facing the fiery furnace and they said this;
“God is ABLE to deliver us from the fire, He WILL deliver us from the fire, but even if not, we’re still going to trust Him.”
That’s what i call great faith!
So
Sunday service. God i can't wait! i feel something impactful for me. i don't know what was it, but I'm waiting with a heart of expecting the unexpected. =)
Friday, October 3, 2008
8 day unofficial off... because of wisdom tooth...
so does that means to say that people who extract wisdom tooth during NS days is to get off? or because extraction is free? hmmmm....
24th Sept, i had my blood test done at national health board (NHB). guess what? i didn't bring my form. and so i got to make my way to national dental center (NDC) to get a new form. back at health board's lab room, the fear of needles came because my medic did a bad injection of needles on me and i was a little afraid. had 3 in a row withdrawal of blood for blood test by them but it was a horror to me, because they kept missing the veins and my head was on fire by the second needle. navigation's took place as the needle went it. vomit blood!
today, 3rd October, my appointment to remove my wisdom tooth at 0915hrs. was very calm. was asked to change and wait for like 2 hrs? the wait was painful because i want it out soon. =(
so when the doctor inject a needle in me, i look at my hands as she applies the anaesthetic on me. when she pierce, thankfully it was a bull's eye and i didn't feel any pain. shortly i was ask to go into the operating room. the temperature was cold, 20.7 deg Celsius! and i am feeling my pores are crying out loud, cold!!!so they let me smell this oxygen, that smells more like wasabi, and they injected this dunno what drug into me, i was put to sleep.
before the operation starts off, i was being briefed on the things that will be happening. thank God that I'm not awake and know what has happened. because it is just too scary to see.
they injected this drug in my vein, i felt burning sensation on my hard. suddenly i just knock out like that, evey when i tried to stay awake! so when i was in deep sleep, they insert a breathing tube into my right nostril, all the way down to my windpipe. and i was told to expect some dry blood in my nose! the operation was very smooth, they manage to pluck out 2 teeth perfectly and the other one so sad to see it being smashed up while trying to extract it. it was very disgusting! dare not to see it. but i will be washing it soon. because i wanna keep. hahaha
when i woke up, i couldn't talk when i first awake. my throat was really dry and i was served with a glass of grapes juice. it was like so refreshing when i sip in like 5ml? i couldn't feel my lips back than, when my lips came in contact with the plastic cup i touched. my tongue was still not back in good conditions yet. so when the water touches my tongue, it was tasteless. but i used it to wet my throat, it was so dried up. a clear cough and I'm speaking with confidence again! haha!!
Xiang was there to pick me up. was really glad that he came to see me home. worst still i didn't had enough in my bank, and he paid the payable amount for me. i was really thankful by his actions. I'm wondering what lunch is appropriate to treat him as a form of appreciation.
took a cab home, and he came up to my house. saw my dog but my dog couldn't recognise him and kept barking at him, till he smelled his hands. he saw the rabbit that ranger ask me to safe keep for him for dunno how long. well, at least at home now got 2 whitie, very nice to play around but it seems like the rabbit is afraid of the dog. we'll see how things goes about.
anyway, my dog cried because he couldnt play ith rabbit. haha!
24th Sept, i had my blood test done at national health board (NHB). guess what? i didn't bring my form. and so i got to make my way to national dental center (NDC) to get a new form. back at health board's lab room, the fear of needles came because my medic did a bad injection of needles on me and i was a little afraid. had 3 in a row withdrawal of blood for blood test by them but it was a horror to me, because they kept missing the veins and my head was on fire by the second needle. navigation's took place as the needle went it. vomit blood!
today, 3rd October, my appointment to remove my wisdom tooth at 0915hrs. was very calm. was asked to change and wait for like 2 hrs? the wait was painful because i want it out soon. =(
so when the doctor inject a needle in me, i look at my hands as she applies the anaesthetic on me. when she pierce, thankfully it was a bull's eye and i didn't feel any pain. shortly i was ask to go into the operating room. the temperature was cold, 20.7 deg Celsius! and i am feeling my pores are crying out loud, cold!!!so they let me smell this oxygen, that smells more like wasabi, and they injected this dunno what drug into me, i was put to sleep.
before the operation starts off, i was being briefed on the things that will be happening. thank God that I'm not awake and know what has happened. because it is just too scary to see.
they injected this drug in my vein, i felt burning sensation on my hard. suddenly i just knock out like that, evey when i tried to stay awake! so when i was in deep sleep, they insert a breathing tube into my right nostril, all the way down to my windpipe. and i was told to expect some dry blood in my nose! the operation was very smooth, they manage to pluck out 2 teeth perfectly and the other one so sad to see it being smashed up while trying to extract it. it was very disgusting! dare not to see it. but i will be washing it soon. because i wanna keep. hahaha
when i woke up, i couldn't talk when i first awake. my throat was really dry and i was served with a glass of grapes juice. it was like so refreshing when i sip in like 5ml? i couldn't feel my lips back than, when my lips came in contact with the plastic cup i touched. my tongue was still not back in good conditions yet. so when the water touches my tongue, it was tasteless. but i used it to wet my throat, it was so dried up. a clear cough and I'm speaking with confidence again! haha!!
Xiang was there to pick me up. was really glad that he came to see me home. worst still i didn't had enough in my bank, and he paid the payable amount for me. i was really thankful by his actions. I'm wondering what lunch is appropriate to treat him as a form of appreciation.
took a cab home, and he came up to my house. saw my dog but my dog couldn't recognise him and kept barking at him, till he smelled his hands. he saw the rabbit that ranger ask me to safe keep for him for dunno how long. well, at least at home now got 2 whitie, very nice to play around but it seems like the rabbit is afraid of the dog. we'll see how things goes about.
anyway, my dog cried because he couldnt play ith rabbit. haha!
Monday, September 22, 2008
phase 3 and onwards!
phase 1 and 2 is finally over. i'm in the midst of phase 3 now. phase 4 seems to be broken hopes! SADDNESS!!! phase 5 will come in time. i just got to wait. hehee.....
the day of audit have finally ended, my boss is really happy with me. immediately after the audit, my boss gathered everyone in the department, thank us and congratulate us! and he said that we deserve 2 good 2 days OFF. it was way before the results were out. days later, the unofficial result was out. it was 97.11%! it hit a new record for my unit. at least i created history!! hehe!!! i made it!! Praise the Lord!
shortly after the audit, i really had a short good rest in my bunk. i slept like dead log! it was really refreshing that i do not need to wake up, rushing down to work again, fearing this and that is not completed on time and all. that feeling was so hard to describe it out, the feeling of freedom from a burden!
i'm left with the the checking of documents and settling of the old debts that my upper study have left me. and i'm done with all things! i'm left with less than 40 working days. really need to start clearing up my room, starts to bring things home soon! man i cant wait to get all the things done over with it!
i'm so in need of a part time job now, but i just can't find one... i can't be rotting at home when clearing leave. its not just me to sit and do nothing! man... the fear of losing income in tremendously great! so is the pressure... how scary. a very big pay cut, a big worried that i face. i don't know what is my life going to be like from Jan to Mar... i see that the bills' interest are all killing me alive.
since friday, i was greatly troubled over my area of finances... a rough estimation of 9.6k of debts to clear, and that excludes my SHATEC school fees. really really stressed over it. thank God for a pool of friends that were around me, cheering me up, despite i kept saying i'm not troubled but worried. i was thinking, isnt it the same meaning? Bible verses starts to flood me. things like "Why so down cast O my soul?" and "Seek and you shall find, Ask and you shall receive." things related to all these subjects starts to make me remember them. i soon manage to overcome the distraction in my life. though its a big issue, i still manage to cheer up. thanks to those who have been by my side during my down casted time...
i realised that i hardly get sad or angry nowadays after i have Jesus in my life. Thank you Jesus! my temper was never at peace till i found You! you calm my hot boiling temper! you cool the hot water in me so that the anger will not stirs up again. Thank you Lord!
for the rest of my life, i'm following You.
not because i have to, but because i want to.
not because it's a must, but it's a choice.
not because i follow the crowd, but i follow the commandments.
not because it's just another religion, but it's a relationship with God, the Abba Father.
Father in Heaven,
See our needs, our good and righteous desire in our heart.
Fill us when we're thirst for it,
Flare the fire up that is in us.
Weapons against us never wins,
Open doors for us!
when one is closed for us, another will be open unto us.
We believe in You Father, for the blessings ahead of us!
In Jesus name we pray, Amen!
the day of audit have finally ended, my boss is really happy with me. immediately after the audit, my boss gathered everyone in the department, thank us and congratulate us! and he said that we deserve 2 good 2 days OFF. it was way before the results were out. days later, the unofficial result was out. it was 97.11%! it hit a new record for my unit. at least i created history!! hehe!!! i made it!! Praise the Lord!
shortly after the audit, i really had a short good rest in my bunk. i slept like dead log! it was really refreshing that i do not need to wake up, rushing down to work again, fearing this and that is not completed on time and all. that feeling was so hard to describe it out, the feeling of freedom from a burden!
i'm left with the the checking of documents and settling of the old debts that my upper study have left me. and i'm done with all things! i'm left with less than 40 working days. really need to start clearing up my room, starts to bring things home soon! man i cant wait to get all the things done over with it!
i'm so in need of a part time job now, but i just can't find one... i can't be rotting at home when clearing leave. its not just me to sit and do nothing! man... the fear of losing income in tremendously great! so is the pressure... how scary. a very big pay cut, a big worried that i face. i don't know what is my life going to be like from Jan to Mar... i see that the bills' interest are all killing me alive.
since friday, i was greatly troubled over my area of finances... a rough estimation of 9.6k of debts to clear, and that excludes my SHATEC school fees. really really stressed over it. thank God for a pool of friends that were around me, cheering me up, despite i kept saying i'm not troubled but worried. i was thinking, isnt it the same meaning? Bible verses starts to flood me. things like "Why so down cast O my soul?" and "Seek and you shall find, Ask and you shall receive." things related to all these subjects starts to make me remember them. i soon manage to overcome the distraction in my life. though its a big issue, i still manage to cheer up. thanks to those who have been by my side during my down casted time...
i realised that i hardly get sad or angry nowadays after i have Jesus in my life. Thank you Jesus! my temper was never at peace till i found You! you calm my hot boiling temper! you cool the hot water in me so that the anger will not stirs up again. Thank you Lord!
for the rest of my life, i'm following You.
not because i have to, but because i want to.
not because it's a must, but it's a choice.
not because i follow the crowd, but i follow the commandments.
not because it's just another religion, but it's a relationship with God, the Abba Father.
Father in Heaven,
See our needs, our good and righteous desire in our heart.
Fill us when we're thirst for it,
Flare the fire up that is in us.
Weapons against us never wins,
Open doors for us!
when one is closed for us, another will be open unto us.
We believe in You Father, for the blessings ahead of us!
In Jesus name we pray, Amen!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Freedom is nearing
Phase 1 has passed. it was a big "phew" thing to me! i was so under pressure till the documents were hand in at the end of first week. now the battle of phase 2, Sunday got to return back to camp to prepare all the places are done up properly. suddenly i feel that time is clicking so slow when you want it fast and so fast when you want it slow.
i can't wait for phase 3 to end too. i hope that phase 2 and 3 will end together in this coming week. maybe very unlikely i can complete phase 3 this coming week because there are too many documents to vet through, but still i hope that it will be done this week. looking through numbers... of goodness... will my maths improve after that? maybe since my maths is always on average. haha! but looking through these number is sure painful! hopefully i don't have to deal too much with these numbers ever again.
like many always say "Patience is a virtue", for now i can do nothing but wait. taming my patience is really a big challenge. how should i do it? slow and steady, and enjoy the challenge and get myself maxed out? or is there another better way of taming patience? is it within my control or out of my control? why is waiting so painful? why is my freedom coming so slowly?
i can't wait for phase 3 to end too. i hope that phase 2 and 3 will end together in this coming week. maybe very unlikely i can complete phase 3 this coming week because there are too many documents to vet through, but still i hope that it will be done this week. looking through numbers... of goodness... will my maths improve after that? maybe since my maths is always on average. haha! but looking through these number is sure painful! hopefully i don't have to deal too much with these numbers ever again.
like many always say "Patience is a virtue", for now i can do nothing but wait. taming my patience is really a big challenge. how should i do it? slow and steady, and enjoy the challenge and get myself maxed out? or is there another better way of taming patience? is it within my control or out of my control? why is waiting so painful? why is my freedom coming so slowly?
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