phase 3 and onwards!

phase 1 and 2 is finally over. i'm in the midst of phase 3 now. phase 4 seems to be broken hopes! SADDNESS!!! phase 5 will come in time. i just got to wait. hehee.....

the day of audit have finally ended, my boss is really happy with me. immediately after the audit, my boss gathered everyone in the department, thank us and congratulate us! and he said that we deserve 2 good 2 days OFF. it was way before the results were out. days later, the unofficial result was out. it was 97.11%! it hit a new record for my unit. at least i created history!! hehe!!! i made it!! Praise the Lord!

shortly after the audit, i really had a short good rest in my bunk. i slept like dead log! it was really refreshing that i do not need to wake up, rushing down to work again, fearing this and that is not completed on time and all. that feeling was so hard to describe it out, the feeling of freedom from a burden!

i'm left with the the checking of documents and settling of the old debts that my upper study have left me. and i'm done with all things! i'm left with less than 40 working days. really need to start clearing up my room, starts to bring things home soon! man i cant wait to get all the things done over with it!

i'm so in need of a part time job now, but i just can't find one... i can't be rotting at home when clearing leave. its not just me to sit and do nothing! man... the fear of losing income in tremendously great! so is the pressure... how scary. a very big pay cut, a big worried that i face. i don't know what is my life going to be like from Jan to Mar... i see that the bills' interest are all killing me alive.

since friday, i was greatly troubled over my area of finances... a rough estimation of 9.6k of debts to clear, and that excludes my SHATEC school fees. really really stressed over it. thank God for a pool of friends that were around me, cheering me up, despite i kept saying i'm not troubled but worried. i was thinking, isnt it the same meaning? Bible verses starts to flood me. things like "Why so down cast O my soul?" and "Seek and you shall find, Ask and you shall receive." things related to all these subjects starts to make me remember them. i soon manage to overcome the distraction in my life. though its a big issue, i still manage to cheer up. thanks to those who have been by my side during my down casted time...

i realised that i hardly get sad or angry nowadays after i have Jesus in my life. Thank you Jesus! my temper was never at peace till i found You! you calm my hot boiling temper! you cool the hot water in me so that the anger will not stirs up again. Thank you Lord!

for the rest of my life, i'm following You.
not because i have to, but because i want to.
not because it's a must, but it's a choice.
not because i follow the crowd, but i follow the commandments.
not because it's just another religion, but it's a relationship with God, the Abba Father.

Father in Heaven,

See our needs, our good and righteous desire in our heart.
Fill us when we're thirst for it,
Flare the fire up that is in us.
Weapons against us never wins,
Open doors for us!
when one is closed for us, another will be open unto us.
We believe in You Father, for the blessings ahead of us!
In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

Freedom is nearing

Phase 1 has passed. it was a big "phew" thing to me! i was so under pressure till the documents were hand in at the end of first week. now the battle of phase 2, Sunday got to return back to camp to prepare all the places are done up properly. suddenly i feel that time is clicking so slow when you want it fast and so fast when you want it slow.

i can't wait for phase 3 to end too. i hope that phase 2 and 3 will end together in this coming week. maybe very unlikely i can complete phase 3 this coming week because there are too many documents to vet through, but still i hope that it will be done this week. looking through numbers... of goodness... will my maths improve after that? maybe since my maths is always on average. haha! but looking through these number is sure painful! hopefully i don't have to deal too much with these numbers ever again.

like many always say "Patience is a virtue", for now i can do nothing but wait. taming my patience is really a big challenge. how should i do it? slow and steady, and enjoy the challenge and get myself maxed out? or is there another better way of taming patience? is it within my control or out of my control? why is waiting so painful? why is my freedom coming so slowly?