Friday the 13

As i always thought that Friday the 13th is always a very bad day but i was wrong. Everyday seems to be Friday the 13th to me. Everyday is just another stress day for me, the ending worry germs seems to have extend their stay in me and i felt so terrible everyday. Everyday, i am only looking forward to my payday to clear my debts...

can someone help me answer my questions:

why my life is so unlucky that i kept getting cheated?
why and how did i get myself into financial problems?
why am i living in a world of debts?
will i be debt free this life?
when will i break even?
why and how come i always bump into cunning and selfish people?
why is my life like this?
which wrong step did i took?
will my life be better in another 6 months time?
was it wrong to be a good man?
when will i be rich?
will i be rich in this life?
when will this hardship be over?
will someone help me to get over this hard period?
when will money drop from sky?
will luck be with me?


my 2007 wish now:

good luck will stands by me till the rest of my life!
meet people that will give me a helping hand when i am in need!
turn my back against the people that have cheated and done harm in my life!
money will drop from sky!
break even all debts before August 2007!
collect back all my borrowed money!
may bad luck fall on those who cheated and harm me!
get rich, fit, slim and sexy!

seems like that's all what i want for now... don't worry, I'm not greedy as every year i have different wish... (which is which? wishes came true or its just facts???)

(Akon - Lonely) & (Nitty - Nasty Girl)

my friends are all gone to SISPEC and I'm left alone in the unit. the new specialist are in already and I'm not so close to them yet. i miss those days of me being with my buddy but lately he seems to be hostile? or rather ignoring me. he knows that i was in needs of financial help as Wilson's business has flop and me and Wilson are now working hard to pay off the debts. when i ask for his help, he actually turn his back against me by not replying. he gave me a cold shoulder that we just met and knew each other. he gave me a kind of feelings like "your problem is your problem and don't share your problem with me" kind of attitude.

i was feeling quite sad after that incident... i wonder how many real friends of mine are there that really are considered true friends... but for sure i do have a good true friend, his nick is Garfield... has been friends since i was 15 and in a blink of time, we have been friends for 9 long years! though we do quarrel at times because of disagreement, we still know what is the other party thinking as well. he is the only one that is with me during my very bad times...

hai....... payment of bills after bills... so sick of it. i have long to have a debt free life but i was wrong. i just got deeper into debts... i wish i can clear TCC bank loan asap because i am just left with 500 before i can pay other bill with a problem lesser. i have tried to find some part time jobs but i have not been lucky lately. i don't know why... i seems so frustrated with those reminder bills. i wish that i can get a loan from someone that is kind enough to lend me a big some of money to clear all my outstanding debts and slowly pay him/her back monthly. i need a rough total of about SGD$2000 for everything that has an outstanding. i wish that this dream will come true...

well, of course not from loan sharks or banks but friends who don't mind lending it to me and allow me to pay back monthly. i will really be grateful to that person if there is one person that really exist in my friend list.

i have never like borrowing from friends because they will give me all kind of face expression and will remember that they have once helped me and demand help when they needed one. unless i am really in a dead end with nowhere to go. hope things will turn out better soon or later. it seems like i only have a friend in this world...

lazy, tired, forgetful, full of excuses and most of all regretful

As i have promised to continue my blog on the first day of chinese new year, till now i have been lazy enough to write my blog. i feel so lazy, felt uneasy to describe myself over the blog. i got this strange feeling... it somehow hold me back from coming back to this site to update my sua_ku's blog...

but at times i do want to tell others my feeling but i just can't find the right person... the person that will give me the ultimate solution to my problems that i am facing now. now, i'm still strong enough to take this crisis but i am not sure how long can i hold on to it. i hope that there will be a solution for me fast, and its real fast. i can see that my bills are piling up and my monthly pay is not enough for me now. in fact, i am still shortage... hopefully things will change after i got the money that govt is giving away to the citizen.

i really wish that the day of my debts will come soon because i will than have money to start saving for my future. i really regret for not saving at all when i was at a younger age. i'm turning 24 this year and i have no saving.

shame on myself!