Even though I’m a Christian, a Christian who doesn’t go church, attend cell group pray like I use to, enjoy being a sinner, breaking the 10 commandments that God have laid down and what else? I don’t know but at least I know what I am doing and I didn’t break all 10, at least I’m still uphold half the commandments, or in fact ¾ of it.
To me, Christmas is like another ordinary day for me. Stone at home, waiting to rot and die. I woke up around lunch time. Still tired but couldn’t sleep, flipping here and there in my bed, I told myself that something is terrible wrong in my life. Something is missing but I just couldn’t answer myself what is missing in my life. Was it the love of my life? Where is she? I couldn’t see or find her. I don’t know if I will be alone again this Valentine’s Day again but all I know is, I just wish that I can be with a girl I love through this Valentine’s Day, but this dream of mine doesn’t seems to happen after all.
I ask Chester out for a walk in town to kill the boredom that exists in our mind but he was reluctant as he will be on course on the very next day. I hope he can achieve what he wants when the course ends, and I wish him all the best. Here I was again with my best buddy, my computer, checking and deleting emails, playing games and nothing much more I can do. Sometime I feel like banging wall to wake myself up but there is no use. It just gave me endless pain.
It can’t stand this torment of pain. I will give way soon. Being alone at home is the worst thing that can ever happen to me. I’m always home alone… So lonely… I tried finding activities but at times, I was bond by situations, situations that will turn me off. Financial!
While I was having lunch, Garfield called me for a chit chat. He asked me out for a drink on the 26th night. Since I am free, I’m joining him for a drink or two. I even ask Ranger Ong along but he told me that he will let me know if he is able to make it. We hang up shortly. Still bored, I played audition kill time. Around 2000hrs time, I called Terrance and check out if he is going to a new pub in Vivo with Eddy, he chose to stayed at home instead. Surprisingly! We chatted for a while before we hang up again. “Life is wonderful, live to the max!” This quote seems to have vanish from my life.
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